Broken Families
by MaggyStar17
Summary: AU:teen-Castiel ran away from home because his brothers Michael and Lucifer were always fighting. He found other boy; Sam. At first their relationship was hostil, but then they know each other better as days pass... Sam/Cas
1. A stupid discussion

**This first chapter it's kind of silly but it had to be like that. Sorry.**

**In the begining you may don't understand the story but wait for the follower chapters. It will get better...**

* * *

**Love is the answer for all your questions**

Chapter 1: A Childish Discussion

Castiel was sitting on the ground of a cavern he had found, looking to a fix point without really seeing it. He was too worried, frustrated… thinking of his family, his brothers- all with the same origin but so different from each other- and none of them cared to minimize that unhealthy differences or even cared of how those differences affected him. So Castiel had to solve the problem, find a solution.

He started hearing someone's steps running in his direction.

Castiel returned to himself, no longer in a kind of hypnotic state.

"What are you doing here?"

Castiel startled with the coolness of the angry voice. He looked quickly to the dark shape that appeared at the entry of the cavern. The intense sunshine behind the shape didn't let him see who it was.

Castiel got up. The luminosity decreased and he could see it was a boy probably of his age.

"This is my place! Get out of here!" The boy said getting close of Castiel. Only then he could see his face clearly. The boy with light brown hair was certainly mad.

"This place doesn't belong to you. It belongs to everyone. You don't have the right to kick me out of here."

"Yes, I do. This is my. You better get out of here!" Castiel could see his greenish bright eyes full of anger.

"Sorry but I found it first." Castiel said calmly.

"And I saw it first"

Castiel rolled his eyes. It was obvious they were getting nowhere like that. He had big experience with discussions. If they continued to argue it may end up bad.

"Fine. I'm leaving." Castiel grabbed his backpack. "Just so you know that's the childish argument ever." And so he left.

* * *

**So who was the strange boy? Will they meet again?**

**You'll have to wait for next chapter...**


	2. The Lightning

Chapter 2 - The Lightning**  
**

The night fell. It was raining, even though it wasn't cold. It was possible to hear the thunderstorm behind the hills. But the storm was getting closer.

When a lightning hit a tree, it burned immediately, falling in front of the cavern.

The boy woke up with the sound of the thunder. He had to get out of there but the flames were blocking the way. In a few seconds smoke started entering in the cavern. He couldn't breathe; he didn't have other choice but jump through the hot flames.

So he jumped the largest jump he had given and, as he predicted, his clothes were on fire. He lied around trying to douse the flames.

Suddenly he felt the ground disappear under him. Quickly he was suspended on a cliff, high enough for not see the end. The place was dangerous, so there weren't many people going there.

He hadn't the strength to pull himself to the surface and his arms were starting to hurt. Then he felt someone grabbing him and pulling him up.

"You shouldn't send people away. You never know when you'll need their help."

He was surprised to see who had helped him was the strange boy he had expelled in his moment of range.

"Are you ok?" Castiel asked.

He just managed to nod, still breathless.

The sound of another thunder put them in alert. They got up quickly and started running.

Castiel guided the new partner to where he was hiding- a wooden house.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Really, if you hadn't showed up…"

"Hey, forget it." Castiel said nicely.

"I'm Castiel, by the way. Castiel Novak." Castiel held a hand.

"I'm Sam Winchester" They shook hands.

"Pleasure to meet you, Sam."

"It seems that you have a special skill finding places." Sam commented looking around to the nice house.

"Yeah. I try those that are empty but sometimes they're not. People should put something saying 'Reserved'".

"About that… sorry for talking to you that way. I'm… not in my best days."

"I've noticed. May I ask what happened?"

"You may ask, I just may not respond." Sam noticed how arrogant that answer seemed. He regretted it immediately. "Look… it's personal. Family problems."

"Well, join to the club."

"Is that an invite?"

"It may be… Why?"

"Cause I may take it."

"Good."

"Wait. If we're like in the same situation…Don't you reader be alone?"

"Like you said, we're in the same situation so let's skip the time alone and have a time together."

For the first time, Castiel saw Sam smile. It was a nice, beautiful smile.

"I'd say you're not as independent as you look. You need always to be with someone."

"Me. Look who's talking. It wasn't me who almost fell off the cliff. You're the one who can't take care of yourself."

"You sound like my brother. That was what he told me last time I ran away."

"It seems he was right."

"Yeah, I guess… Well I need to get some sleep" Sam said sitting on one of the beds.

"Me too."

The summer house had some things the owners had left. Castiel had found some blankets that used to make the beds. Inside, the house was an open space. The only division with a door was the bathroom.

Both of them took off their wet clothes. They stayed with boxers and a t-shirt and went to bed.

"Goodnight Sam" Castiel said before falling asleep.

"Goodnight Cas"


	3. Childish things are the best

Chapter 3 - Childish things are the best

Sam woke up with sunlight on his face. He also sensed a sweet smell. He opened his eyes and noticed Castiel was already up. Sam followed the smell, getting more intense at each step. That smell reminded him his childhood.

Sam saw Castiel in the kitchen, he was still wearing the clothes he had slept with and his hair was a mess. More than usual.

In that moment Sam noticed how thin Castiel was. So how he was able to pull up Sam… Sam was so intrigued with that question he didn't noticed Castiel was looking at him.

"Good morning." Sam said a little embarrassed. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I found some useful things here. I joined other thing I have. And I made chocolate milk."

_So that was the smell. How could I forget… _"Chocolate milk?"

"You can call me childish, but… there's nothing better that a hot cup of chocolate milk"

"Actually there is."

"What?"

"Two cups of chocolate milk" Castiel laughed at that.

"Good. That's exactly the number of cups I made." He gave one of the cups to Sam.

Sam sat at the table and drank a sip of the nice smelling chocolate milk. Castiel joined him.

"I've been wondering something. How… why did you came back for me?"

"Good question. I don't know… I really don't. I just felt something wrong was going to happen."

"Still, why did you come back after I expelled you?"

"Because I understood you. What you were feeling. I had to make sure you were fine. That's…who I am."

Sam was staring at the boy sitting next to him. At his deep bright blue eyes. Somehow he knew everything Cas had told him was true. _How could he care about someone he didn't know? _

Cas was staring back at him. Suddenly Sam noticed they were closer from each other. Sam felt his heart beating faster and a strange sensation in his belly. That wasn't normal. He already had felt something like that, but not with this intensity. Last time this had happened to him he was… in love.

The sound of a cell phone ringing caught their attention. Castiel recognized the sound and grabbed his phone. He kept staring at it for moments and then he hung up and returned to the table.

"Who was it?" Sam asked curious.

"My brother. One of them."Castiel explained. "He had already called me, but I didn't answer. I don't want to talk to him now, not yet."

Sam nodded and finished his chocolate milk, trying to make his heart beat normally again.

Sam noticed Castiel was looking at a fix point, probably lost in his thoughts. When Castiel smiled, Sam understood where he was looking at.

"What?"

"I was just… looking at you bracelet." It had a metallic lizard with a bright beautiful emerald eye. Each side of the silver lizard had two black wires that joined together. "It's so beautiful."

"Thanks. My mother gave it to me… and other to my brother. This way it's like we were connected to her. To don't miss her so much."

"Did she… Is she…" Castiel didn't know how to ask it.

"Dead? Yes." Sam confirmed Castiel's suspicious.

"Sorry." He said sympathetically.

"That's okay." Sam said. "It was a long time ago."

"My parents died too when I was young. I don't even remember them. Since then, I live with my three brothers. My parents' death affected them more than me. No matter how much time pass, they'll never forget it. It'll never be okay."

"You're right. After my mother die, my father was never the same. He started drinking, he got fired because of it… So now my brother is the only one who works. Sometimes I help him, more in holydays."

"My brothers aren't much better. Specially my two older brothers. They're always arguing with each other because of things that made no sense even talk about it. They were always like that. And I'm sick of it."

"Family sucks." Sam commented.

"But you can't live without it." Castiel concluded.


	4. It's all over all over again

**Sorry for making you wait. Here's the new chapter. **

**Hope you like it**.

* * *

Chapter 4 - It's all over... all over again

Two days passed since they had first talked about their problems. Sometimes they went to the town to buy some food and clothes. Despite their family problems, they were having a good time together.

Castiel had gone to buy some food for dinner. When he came back, he found Sam sitting on his bed, thoughtful.

"Hey" Castiel greeted.

Sam just looked at him with a sad face.

"Are you ok?" Castiel asked worried.

"What am I doing here?" Sam answered with a sad, lost look. "I run away from home to find a way to solve the problem. Instead I'm here doing nothing, hoping things to change?"

"Sam…" Castiel said trying to comfort Sam. He dropped the bags with food he had bought.

"This will take me nowhere." Sam said with some anger in his voice and he stood up. "I should be alone…" Sam's voice rise abruptly. "and not with you".

Castiel froze. He was in shook with the sudden statement. He couldn't believe it.

"Are you trying to kick me out of here? Again?" Castiel said angry and hurt. "Because you almost did it."

Sam stood in silence for a brief moment. "I guess I am." Sam said with a calmer voice but still with a revolted look.

"How can you? After everything…" Castiel felt betrayed. He felt tears growing in his eyes and he looked down. "Fine. Just remember it was you who decided to stay." Castiel said rising up his head. He grabbed his things and got out.

Castiel knew he shouldn't get out. If there was someone who should leave it was Sam. Castiel had found that house, he had showed it to Sam, he had brought him there, to keep him safe. And after everything Sam tells him to leave? It wasn't fair.

But Castiel wasn't going to argue about it. He was too hurt to do that. He just wanted to get out of there.


	5. Run for what you want

Run for want you want 

Sam had recorded in his mind Castiel's face when he left. He looked… hurt, sad, angry. His eyes were no longer so bright. Instead of blue sapphire eyes, they were dark blue like the night sky.

Suddenly Castiel made Sam remember someone. Himself. He knew how Castiel felt. He had already experienced it and it was awful. He realized how unfair he had been and he couldn't let Castiel go like that. Not because of him.

"Cas!" Sam cried out running after Castiel. Fortunately he wasn't far.

"Cas…" Sam called again when he got close to Castiel. "Wait."

Castiel didn't turn so Sam grabbed his arm and made him turn around.

Tears rolled down Castiel's face.

"Cas. I'm sorry." Sam said a little scared of how Castiel looked. _What have I done?_ "I don't want you to go."

Castiel was looking down. Sam grabbed softly his face making Cas to look at him. Lightly Sam passed his fingers to his face, cleaning the face from tears of his- maybe no longer friend.

"Came back. Please." Sam almost begged.

Sam noticed Castiel was nervous and trembling. So Sam took his hand and leaded him back to the house.

They sat on Castiel's bed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." Sam said truthfully.

"But you did." Castiel said still hurt.

_Yeah. I noticed. Just hope isn't too late to fix that. I'm such an idiot._

"Please don't yell at me. These discussions make me remember the ones that my brothers have." Castiel said when he could finally calm down. "I hate them."

"Alright. I won't."

Sam put a hand on Castiel's cheek cleaning the last hot tear. Sam was staring into Castiel's eyes and slowly they turned into a light blue. Maybe it was because of the sunset light that illuminated their faces, close from each other. Closer than they've ever been. And that feeling again, always growing in Sam's chest. He couldn't help but put his lips on Castiel's. A soft kiss on Castiel's sweet and wet lips from the tears. Castiel played along and kissed him back, strengthening the kiss.

That strange and uncomfortable feeling Sam felt, transformed into a total peace. He didn't feel his fast heartbeat making his heart almost jump from his chest; not that his heart wasn't beating fast, he just didn't feel it. It didn't matter. The only thing he felt was the nice tasty gorgeous lips of Castiel.

Castiel broke the kiss seconds later. He couldn't say the kiss was unexpected because it was, and wanted too. He looked at Sam with a questioning face wondering what all that meant. But it was very obvious what it meant. Castiel smiled and hugged Sam.

"Does this mean you forgive me?"

Castiel pulled back. "Yes. You're forgiven. But only this time. If you do something like this again…"

"I won't." Sam promised. "Never again."

"Good." Castiel responded seriously. Then he smiled. "Let's eat something?"

Sam gave him a small laugh. "I thought you never asked."

They ate sandwiches that Castiel had bought at the sound of the radio they had found. Somehow it still worked.

Later they went to bed. Each one for his own bed, what did you think? Right before falling asleep Castiel had the music they had heard at dinner in his mind.

_When I say I love you, you say you better_

_You better you better you bet_

_When I say I love you, you say you better_

_You better you better you bet_


	6. Tears kill plants

Tears kill plants

Castiel woke up at middle of the night with a strange feeling. It wasn't someone's presence, but the lack of it. Sam wasn't in his bed. Castiel got up and went looking for his new boyfriend. When Castiel figured Sam wasn't in the house he got worried. So he went outside and found Sam sitting on a rock.

"Sam…" Castiel called appearing in front of him.

Sam was looking down. His brown hair covered most part of his face.

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked noticing tears falling on the ground. He sat next to him.

"Nothing" Sam answered without looking at him.

"Sorry, but no one cries for nothing."

"I'm not crying." Sam said cleaning the tears from his face.

_Right_. "Oh, my mistake. Now I see… you're watering the flowers." Castiel conclude with a small smile on his face.

Sam noticed his tears were falling on the wild flowers.

"C'mon. Let's go inside." Castiel suggested planting a hand on Sam's knee.

Castiel got up but Sam remained sit.

"C'mon, or you'll drown the flowers." Sam made a small smile. But enough for Castiel know that he had convinced him.

Castiel grabbed his hand and pulled him up. Sam finally looked at him. Castiel entwined his fingers on Sam's and gave him a kiss on his wet cheek.

They went inside. They sat on Castiel's bed, Sam was leaning against the wall and Castiel was kneeled on the bed, next to Sam.

"Now you're gonna tell me what happened" Castiel made it sound more like a question than a soft demand.

"Nothing…I…"

"Sam… please. Talk to me." Castiel asked.

Sam nodded. "I was… thinking about what happened. When you went away… because of me. And I thought maybe the problem aren't people… maybe it's me."

"What are you talking about?" Castiel asked confused.

"All this time I thought when my father, and sometimes my brother, didn't talk to me it was because they didn't like me or just didn't care about me. But maybe it's because I push them away." Sam explained with a sad and guilty look.

"I'm sure that's not the reason." Castiel put a hand on Sam's shoulder to comfort him. "I don't know your family, but even if they don't like you, I know someone who does."

"Who?"

Castiel sat on top of Sam's legs, with Sam's legs between his own. "I do." Castiel responded and gave Sam a quick kiss. "I love you. And now, I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you."

Sam instinctively kissed him. This kiss was longer and Sam would prolong it forever if he could.

Castiel had his hands on Sam's neck and caressed his soft long hair. Sam grabbed Castiel's legs pulling him closer. They stood like that for a while. Then Sam laid him on the bed and he stood on top of Castiel, touching him in every spots he could. Sam started rising Castiel's shirt to take it off, passing his hand over Castiel's abdomen. Castiel shivered with the soft hands undressing him.

"Sam Winchester, what do you think you're doing?" Castiel joked pushing him away, momentarily. He tried to make a serious face but without much success.

"Tell me you don't like it." Sam gave him naughty smile and took off Castiel's shirt.

Castiel couldn't disagree.

"Is this what I think it is?" Castiel asked looking at Sam.

"No. It's better." Sam kissed Castiel's neck. But that was just the beginning.


	7. A wonderful feeling

A wonderful feeling

Next morning Sam woke up late, he had had a busy night with his boyfriend trying to make him feel better. Sam could say that last night had been the most magic, fantastic night he had lived. And what's the best way to waking up if not with the people you most love next to you?

Better than that, only have the people you most love curled on you, with his head on your chest, feeling his soft warm breath synchronized with your own breath. This was how Castiel was, like Sam was his bed.

Sam saw Castiel moving, probably waking up. Sam gave him a kiss in his forehead. Castiel opened his eyes and smiled seeing Sam next to him.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."

"Good morning, Charming." Castiel joked back and gave him a kiss in his lips.

"You were right." Castiel said. "It was better than I thought."

"I told you." Sam answered "And you tell me this isn't the best way of waking up?"

"Hmm. I could be here, like this forever." Castiel put his arms around Sam's naked chest.

They stood like that for moments until Castiel spoke.

"So, let's get back home?"

"What? You're not serious…" Sam said surprised.

"I am. I mean we're good, right?"

"Yeah, but it will be the same when we get back. We didn't change anything."

"And we never will. There's nothing we can do. My brothers will be always like that. They always have been and they always will. No matter how much they fight with each other they are my brothers and I love them. I miss them. That's all I wanted. Have a reason to get back home." Castiel explained to his lover. "And I know you miss your family too."

"Yeah, I do." Sam answered thoughtfully. "I even miss the stupid jokes of my brother." Sam said with a smile. "Alright, we go back tomorrow. But until then… there's other things we can do." He stared kissing Castiel.

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

**I hope you liked it. Because this may be the end. I'm still no sure if I continue this story. I have some ideas... **

**I'm thinking about something diferent... more tragic. You'll see Castiel's brother and eventualy Sam's family too. But there'll be a dead... and someone will be very sad by losing that lovely person. **

**I would like to know if you want me to keep writing. After all... this is for you.**

**Thanks a lot for reading**.


	8. When all is set and done and dead

**This is a little diferentg. Maybe more than a litte... **

**I created a little tragedy. ****I hope you don't mind.**

* * *

When all is set and done and dead

Next day they packed their things to go. Castiel put the blanket they had used in a drawer, and then he noticed the drawer was different and strange. It should be bigger than it was; that was when Castiel found a false bottom in the drawer and took it off. Behind it he found a black bag.

"Sam." He called a little frightened.

"Yeah." Sam responded approached Castiel.

He looked inside the bag and found several transparent involucres with a white powder inside. Was that what he thought it was? Was it…

"Drugs?" Sam suggested.

"Looks like it."

"What are we going to do?"

In that moment three bad looking men got in the house. Castiel and Sam startled and dropped the bag when two of them pulled out a gun and pointed at them.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nothing… We were…" Sam tried to answer.

"Stealing from us, kids?" The man with scary yellow eyes asked, approaching them.

"No. We weren't." Sam tried to excuse them as he stepped back.

"Too bad you're going to die." Other man said pointing the gun directly to Castiel's head.

Those words made Castiel's nervous system release what looked like an adrenaline injection; his heart was beating faster and faster, all his body was ready to run, but he couldn't. He froze.

"Take it easy, Al." The unarmed man said, putting down the gun pointed to Castiel.

"We won't tell anyone. Just let us go. Please." Castiel finally spoke.

"Uhh… What's your name?"

"Castiel."

"Do you have a last name?"

"Novak."

"Well, Castiel Novak, I'm Zach. Why don't we go outside? There is something I want you to see" The man said, but Castiel stood still. "Now!"

Castiel started walking to the door. The man grabbed his arm, making him stop.

"You two, take the merchandise to the car." Zach said. "I hope you know how to do the job well."

Castiel looked one last time to Sam who was as scared as he was. There was no way they could tell what was going to happen, and they feared it terribly.

Castiel stepped outside with Zach. They stopped by the black car parked a little far from the house.

"What do you want me to see?" Castiel asked with a tremble voice.

"Patience, my friend. It'll happen soon." Zach said with an inexpressive face. "Just wait a few more seconds and… ready. Enjoy the show!" He said with an evil smile.

Castiel turned to the house. He saw the two men running away from the house. And then… flames. All over the house. And Sam still inside. Castiel started running to the house but stopped when he heard the strong noise of the explosion. Castiel's heart stopped for a moment. The house was now a giant torch. The fire spread to the closest trees burning them, taking their lives. Like it did with Sam's.

Castiel started running again still in shock but he was grabbed by one of the drug dealers. "So, you think he's hot?" Al said.

Castiel noticed a black tattoo in his arm that was holding him before Al put him unconscious.

* * *

**What will happen to our (and Sam's) beloved Castiel?**


	9. Always blaming others and never yourself

Always blaming the others and never yourself

Castiel woke up in the floor of a warehouse, alone. It was completely empty, dark and cold. He got out of that somehow scary place. It was afternoon; the sun was disappearing behind the mountains. Castiel didn't know where he was but he followed the nearest road. Fortunately the road leaded him to home.

When he entered home he found his oldest brother.

"Castiel, where have you been? We looked for you everywhere." He said with a mad but worried voice.

Castiel was staring at his brother with a sad and guilty face. "I'm sorry, Michael. It won't happen again." And started walking to his bedroom.

"Hey, are you alright? You look…awful." Michael stopped him putting a hand in his shoulder. He was looking for the right word but he couldn't find a better one. There were no words to describe how his little brother was.

Castiel looked at himself. His brother was right, he was a mess. His blue jeans were ripped on the knees and his green shirt was dirty with dust. "Yeah. I just… need to take a shower."

"Okay. I'm glad you're back." And let go of him.

Castiel went upstairs to his room.

"Look who's back. If is not my youngest rebel brother."

"Hello, Lucifer."

"The vacation was good?"

Castiel felt hurt with that question, it made him remember the recent events. Castiel didn't answer, he just got in his room and closed the door forcefully.

Lucifer came downstairs.

"Castiel is weirder all the time." Lucifer commented.

"Lucifer." Michael said in a threatening way. He didn't like the way Lucifer sometimes talked about their brother.

"It's true." He complained.

"That's because you did or said something." Michael tried to justify his brother's action.

"No, I didn't! I was just talking to him." Lucifer paused. "And why is always me who does something?" He said offended.

"Cause it's always you. You're insensitive and you're always provoking him. Don't forget it was your fault that he ran away."

"My fault?! Of course, it's always my fault. You don't even know if that was the reason." Lucifer was almost screaming.

"What else could it be?"

"You weren't even here." Lucifer complained. "You're never here. You're always working. All you care about is your work."

"That's not true! I care about our brothers, and you."

"No, you don't. All you care about is blaming me for your mistakes. If you want to blame someone for what happened you just have to look at yourself!" Lucifer was yelling.

Michael pushed Lucifer against the wall angrily. He looked into his brother angry eyes, light blue very alike Castiel's. How could his brothers be so different from each other? Michael lived all his life with Lucifer, he took care of him and still wasn't used to his tantrums? That was how Lucifer was, always upsetting him, always arguing with him, always blaming him.

"Go head!" Lucifer said, feeling the tension. "Do it." He dared Michael.


	10. It's my job to help him

It's my job to help him

"Will you just stop that?!" Lucifer and Michael didn't hear their young brother come in. "Can't you stop fighting all the time? Is it too much ask for one day of peace?" He said angrily.

"Gabriel." Michael said, stepping away from Lucifer. "How long have you been here?"

"Enough." He answered. "And you know what; you're both wrong… and right in some way." Gabriel said commenting his older brothers' discussion. "It's both of you. It's both of your fault Castiel had left." He said finally. "Cas is missing and you keep discussing whose fault is?"

"Actually he's not missing. Not anymore." Lucifer said.

"What? What you mean 'he's not missing'?"

"He came back. About 10 minutes ago."

Gabriel had to see him. Had to check on him.

* * *

Castiel got out of the shower. He was dressed with blue jeans and a black sweatshirt. He sat on the bed. He couldn't believe Sam was dead, the people he most loved… dead. Even knowing him so shortly, he loved him so much. Trusted him, enough to tell his problems that he had told no one. During the time they spent together they get to know each other better. They had nothing else to do. The time he spent with Sam made him almost forget his problems. Every time they were together was great, fantastic. But now he could never experience that happiness again. He would never see Sam again. How could he live with that?

Castiel had unconsciously started to cry with that awful, terrible thoughts that pained his heart. The thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking on the door.

"Yes" Castiel said cleaning his face.

"Hey, kiddo." Gabriel greeted him and walked in the room approaching him. "We were worried about you. Where´ve you been?"

"I just… needed time to clean my head."

"You don't look so good." Gabriel remembered how Castiel looked like when he left and now he was even worst.

Castiel said nothing. He just kept sadness (that he couldn't hide) on his face.

"What happened?" Gabriel insisted.

"Nothing…" He lied but he knew it wasn't enough to make Gabriel leave him alone. "I… I don't want to talk about it".

"You know… if you told me… I could help."

"No, you can't. No one can." Castiel said looking down, sadly.

"You don't know that. Maybe I can." Gabriel tried to give him hope.

"Trust me, you can't." Castiel said honestly. "I just want be alone." He said looking again to Gabriel and gave a pleading look to him to leave.

"Alright. Just… don't run away again."

"I won't." He promised.

Gabriel sensed a good smell in the air. "Hey, dinner's ready." He said trying to entice Castiel.

"I'm not hungry." But he should. He didn't eat for almost 10 hours.

"You have to eat something. How much time didn't you eat a proper meal?" Gabriel said trying to make a point.

"I'm good. Really." Castiel forced a little smile.

_Good? Yeah, right. _Gabriel was worried about his little brother. Something serious had happen and he had to find out what. Castiel looked so sad that was breaking Gabriel's heart. Gabriel was never upset; he was always smiling and joking. Nothing could bring him down, nothing except Castiel. He was the only one who could awake Gabriel's protective side. He couldn't just leave him like that, he had to cheer him up. He had to make his brother feel better. It was his job to do so.


	11. My way

My way

"Castiel Novak, you go downstairs. Immediately." Gabriel ordered. Castiel startled a little by the serious tone of voice of his brother. He was never serious. "Or I'll take you as if you were a baby." Gabriel said playfully.

Castiel gave him a weak smile.

"C'mon, Cassie." He tried again.

"Don't call me that." Castiel said seriously.

"Cassie, Cassie, Cassie." He provoked.

"Seriously. Stop." Castiel warned.

"Make me." Gabriel knew Castiel couldn't resist to those magical words.

Castiel got up from the bed rapidly with a predatory playful look. Gabriel recognized that look and run away from the room making his brother follow him. Gabriel was going to lead him to the kitchen but Castiel caught him before he get there. Castiel grabbed him and pushed him making Gabriel fell on the couch.

"Hey! That's not fair." Gabriel said lying on the couch.

"Yes, it is." Castiel said standing in front of his brother.

"In that case…" Gabriel pulled Castiel to sit next to him and started to make him tickles.

"No. Gabriel. Stop." Castiel said, laughing.

"Too late." He kept making tickles.

Castiel tried to get away but he was surrounded by the couch and Gabriel was in front of him, enjoying. Castiel almost couldn't breathe by laughing so hard.

"Hey, girls. Let's eat, shall we?" Lucifer said from the kitchen. He had a annoying habit of spoiling all the fun.

"You thought you could beat me? Really?" Gabriel said letting go of his brother. "It looks like you don't know me... I'm the master. You can't beat the master." He got up and he stepped away from the couch.

"This isn't over." Castiel said when his breath got to normal.

"Of course not. It's only over when you win, isn't it? That's why it's never over."

Castiel went after his brother, smiling, to the kitchen. Dinner was on the table. He joined to his brothers that were sitting. Castiel had to admit he had enjoyed his little fight with Gabriel. If there was someone who could make him smile in the worst occasions, it was him. Even for brief moments.

When all that thrill passed, Castiel returned to his problem, his worry, his lover, his dead lover. Castiel closed his eyes and images of the explosion passed to his mind. He felt a cold in his stomach and he opened his eyes again; he couldn't eat. So he just stood quiet watching his brothers eat. No one spoke. The only sound they could hear was the sound of TV in the news channel.

"Don't you eat something?" Michael asked with a worried expression.

"No. I'm not ungry."


	12. Somebody gonna try and say it

Somebody's gonna try and say it's alright. That it's alright now 

Castiel, after dinner he didn't eat, he went to his room. He didn't get out anymore that night. He was lying on his bed, thinking about the fatal incident; he couldn't sleep. But at the middle of the night, after hours on bed he got comfy and fell asleep. The time he slept all he had were nightmares about the drug dealers, the house on fire, the violent explosion and he also saw Sam… on fire.

"No" He screamed waking up and he sat on the bed. His heart was beating fast.

What his mind made him see? As if what had happen in reality wasn't scary, terrifying and torturing enough.

When he calmed down a little he remembered he hadn't actually seen Sam inside the house on fire. _Thank God. _So maybe… maybe he could have escaped. Castiel hadn't seen him leave either, but… Was any possibility that Sam have escaped without Castiel seen him? He had to find out.

Castiel had to get back there. For more painful that it was, he had to make sure Sam wasn't there. He got dressed and returned to the place they had lived for almost a week.

As expected the house was totally destroyed, there was nothing in one piece. There was a contrast in the ground that separated the burned part from the fresh green grass. There was also a smell in the air of burned wood. How could he find something that proved Sam was or not in that mess? He wasn't even sure what he was looking for. He approached the burned wreckage. He didn't recognize anything.

Suddenly the sun blinded him. How could the sunlight blind him or even come right to his face? The sun had just rise behind him. And then he realised that something was reflecting the sunlight. He approached the object covered with dust. Castiel couldn't believe when he recognized the object; it was the beautiful lizard Sam had on his wrist. It was dirty and a part of the black wires were also burned.

That meant Sam had been there during the fire. Sam wouldn't leave without it. The wires couldn't have simply broken and fell. In that moment all hopes Castiel had of Sam being alive, disappeared.

What was he doing there? Why had he come to that place? Torturing himself even more? Castiel decided it was time to get back home where he shouldn't left in first place.

When he got home Michael was in the kitchen and Lucifer was in his room and neither of them saw or heard him came in. Gabriel was sitting in the couch watching TV.

"Good morning." Gabriel was upset. "Where did you go so early?"

"I just… went to make sure of something" _I rather I hadn't._

"What?"

Castiel didn't answer. Something caught his attention; the TV news. It showed the place where he had just been. There was a fireman extinguishing the fire. The police was also there as well as ambulance and the paramedics. The journalist said that a young man had been found burned inside the house, lifeless. The police didn't know the victim's ID or the fire's origin. They showed one doctor taking a stretcher into the ambulance. There was obviously someone in the stretcher but was covered with a kind of a sheet, from head to toe, as it was usual to see when they found someone dead.

Castiel was pale. He had seen too much.

"Cassie, you ok?" Gabriel asked worried.

Castiel got back to the real world. He looked at his brother but he couldn't speak, and he didn't want it either. All he wanted was to get out of there, so he ran to his bedroom.

Gabriel watched the news until the end.

"Was it Castiel?" Michael appeared at the entry of sitting room.

"Yes." Gabriel answered with a vague look. He was trying to put together the TV news and Castiel's strange reaction.

"Where did he go?" Michael asked.

"I don't know."

"Well, then you find it out." He said as if he was giving a mission to his brother.

"Why me?" Gabriel wasn't complaining. He also wanted to know what had happen.

"You think he would talk to Lucifer, do you?" Lucifer appeared in the sitting room suddenly. He knew when Michael was talking about him, it wasn't a good thing. "And I don't have time. I have to go to work."

"As usual" Lucifer said trying to send an indirect message to his older brother.

Michael sent a furtive look to Lucifer.

"Don't look at me like that. You know it's true."

"Well, I'm going to work." Michael tried to change subject. "You find out what happened." He said to Gabriel.

"I will." He said as Michael got out. Lucifer left moments later. He was too stubborn to ask Michael to give him a ride.

Gabriel went to Castiel's room. He didn't knock on the door because he knew his brother didn't want him there. So he just opened the door. Gabriel found Castiel sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall with his legs against the chest and hands on his knees. His brother was shaking and… crying? He hadn't seen Castiel crying like in years. He was always so strong. Something very serious had affected him.

"Cas…" Gabriel made aware of his presence. Apparently his brother hadn't seen him yet.

"Gabriel, go away. Please." Castiel said still not looking at his brother. "Just leave me alone" He said somehow calmly.

Gabriel approached him and noticed Castiel was holding something silver in his hand. He was holding it so tight it could wound his hand. It was hurting him for sure but it didn't seem to matter.

"You knew him, didn't you?" Gabriel guessed. "The guy who died on a fire." He specified.

Gabriel saw new tears falling on Castiel's face. _I'll take that as a yes_

"I was with him."Castiel confessed with a tremble voice. "He was…he was my _(boy)_friend. And they killed him."

"What? Who… I thought it was an accident." Gabriel got worried. "Cassie, tell me what you know." Gabriel sat on the bed to listen carefully what had happened.

"I met him a few days after I leave. He had also got away. And…we met and we stood together. In that house." His voice trailed. It was hurting him so much talk about that.

"Alright. Calm down. What happened next?"

_Then I realized how wonderful and sexy he was, and we made love. _More tears formed in Castiel's eyes, but he continued. "Then three men appeared in the house. Drug dealers, I guess. And they saw us. They thought we were stealing them, the drug that was in the house or something. And they set the house on fire…with him inside." Castiel closed momentarily his eyes.

"And you were there too?" For moments Gabriel feared the answer to that.

"No. They took me outside with them. They made me watch." His voice tone rose. It turned almost in an angry tone. "Why? Why didn't they kill me too?"

This was more serious than Gabriel thought. "Did they do something to you?"

"No. They just put me unconscious and left me in a warehouse. And then I got back." Castiel made a smile of contempt. "You what's really stupid…? We had decided to come back that day. We were about to leave. Why didn't we get out early? If we did, maybe Sam would still be alive."

Gabriel was a little in shock. Mostly because of how it made his brother feel. He wished to say it was going to be okay, but obviously wasn't.

"Cassie…" Gabriel said sadly. "Came here." He hugged Castiel putting his brother's head against his chest. Castiel hugged him back, tightly. Gabriel felt the tears of his little brother wetting his dark red sweatshirt. Gabriel hadn't done this in some time. It hadn't been needed, but now Gabriel was holding him like he used to when Castiel was a child.

Gabriel was still a little confused. There was so other questions he wanted to make... but not at that moment. Gabriel wasn't also prepared to receive more information. His brother, who he had always watched for and protected, could have been killed too. What an unbearable thought...

Gabriel stood until Castiel calm down.

"Gabe… Don't tell Michael or Lucifer" Castiel asked.

"I have to tell them. This is not something I can hide. It's too serious. You could've died too."

_ I'd rather have._

"They're worried about you too. I'm sorry, but I have to tell them."

Gabriel wasn't really sure of what to do. But he had to do something.

* * *

**I would like to know what you think and what you want to happen next.**

**Here are some song I listened while I was writing:**  
**The Mars Volta- Ilyena**  
**Scorpions- Still loving you**  
**The Doors- Light my fire**  
**Wolfmother- White feather**


	13. What's left of you

Chapter 13: What's left of you

Castiel opened the white door. His hand was shaking. He had hoped and waited so much for this moment but he was still afraid. Afraid he would be wrong. Afraid of what he was about to find in that room.

The room was all white and seemed cold. There was only a bed and a black chair. Castiel had never liked hospitals. Only bad things had happened to him in those places. He just hoped this wasn't one of those bad times. He hoped to be right. He hoped the person lied on the metallic bed was…

"Sam" Castiel called softly approaching the bed.

The young man with green eyes turned his head to him.

"Cas?" Sam said recognizing him. A smile rose in his face.

Castiel run to him while Sam sat in the bed.

Castiel hugged him, held him tight. Sam's head was against Castiel's chest. His hands grabbed Castiel's open black jacket strongly, like he feared losing Castiel again. Slowly Sam let go and put his hands under the jacket, hugging Castiel. They let a tear fall down their cheeks.

"You're alive" Castiel said still not believing. "I thought you were dead."

"There were moments I thought that too. But I guess I'm back now." Sam looked at him.

"I missed you." Castiel took Sam's lips on his. The kiss was so long awaited for both of them… They had feared that would never happen again. Castiel brought a hand on Sam's cheek. He felt his skin different. A kind of a scar that Sam hadn't before. It looked like his skin was…burned. Sam pulled back immediately at the touch.

"I'm sorry." Castiel said surprised and a little scared. How couldn't he have noticed? He was too happy for Sam being alive. "Does it hurt?"

"Not now. It did some days ago." Sam turned his face to other side. "I just don't want you to look…at me like that. I'm ugly." Sam looked down.

Castiel sat on the bed. "Sam, I thought you were dead. I don't care how you look." Sam looked at him again a little surprised. "I'm just happy you are alive." Castiel sent him a smile. He had finally noticed the burned spot on Sam's face. He also noticed Sam's hair was shorter than it was. Maybe it had been burned by the fire too.

"No matter how you look, you'll always be beautiful to me"

Sam smiled. "I love you" And they kissed once again.

"I love you too." Castiel said pulling away.

"What happened? How did you escape?" Castiel asked curiously.

"Well, they tied me to a chair before they leave the house. Then I saw smoke and it was starting to get hot. I tried to get free, but I couldn't. The rope was thick and strong. So I swing until I fell to the floor. With the impact the chair broke. That was how I got free. Then I got out to through the window from the back of the house. When I had just got out there was an explosion and I was projected. I blacked out. Then I woke up here, three days ago." Sam explained.

"How are you? What doctors say?" Castiel asked, worried.

"They say I was lucky. I only have superficial burns. But I have them in several parts of the body. The one you just saw, other in my leg and a second-degree burn in my arm." Sam showed his left hand. He had gauze around his wrist, from the palm hand to middle of the forearm.

"Does it hurt?" Castiel had heard second degree burns were very painful.

"Sometimes. But the nurses give me painkillers, so it doesn't hurt so much." Sam looked sad about something else.

"But…" Castiel made Sam carry on.

"Nothing. It's just… I lost the bracelet my mother gave me." Sam shook his head. "I know it's stupid. I could've died, and I'm worried about a bracelet. But still…"

"…It had a meaning. It was important for you." Castiel completed. Like he had read Sam's thoughts.

"It's like a part of me was missing. And I want it back." Sam spoke sadly.

Castiel was staring at him and suddenly smiled.

"What?"

"I've been looking for you, even knowing that you would be probably dead. After a while I thought I had lost you forever. But, after all I always had a part of you. I've found…" Castiel took off the necklace around his neck. "…what's left of you." Sam's beloved lizard was in the end of the necklace. Castiel delivered it on Sam's good hand.

Sam was incredulous. He closed his hand grabbing the missing object, it was warm from Castiel's body heat. Sam had no words to say how grateful he was. So, he gave a soft, sweet kiss on Castiel's lips. "Thanks." Sam said when he pulled back.

Castiel was somehow surprised by that kiss. He wasn't complaining at all. All Sam's kisses were more than welcome, but had it been so important to Sam? Had it made Sam so happy? Apparently it had. Castiel felt warm fill his heart and he smiled. If Sam was happy, he was happy too.

"Where did you find it?" Sam asked.

"Where you left it." Castiel said and images of destructed house crossed his mind. Moments before, it would make him sad, but now it made him happy to know Sam was alright.

"Cas?" Sam called. He hadn't really understood the answer. But it seemed that his question had affected Castiel. Castiel came back to reality. "Are you ok?" Sam asked.

"That's what I was thinking about. And yeah… After everything that happened, I'm ok. Now that I've found you." Castiel touched softly in Sam's fingers of the burned hand that was over Sam's legs.

"What happen to you? After… What did they do to you?" Sam tried to ask carefully. He didn't know what those monsters had done to him. But he wanted to know. After all he had also thought Castiel could be dead.

"Nothing."

Sam didn't believe him and sent him an interrogating look. How could they done nothing to Castiel?

"Well, not much. They just put me unconscious when I tried to get to you."

"You saw what happened?" That wasn't really a question. But Castiel nodded at same.

Sam felt sad for him. For those monsters made him watch. Of course it had been painful for Sam, until he faints. But for Castiel had been psychologically painful, traumatizing. Sam caressed Castiel's soft cheek. Castiel felt an electric shock. Sam came closer always looking at Castiel's brilliant eyes.

"Cassie, we gotta go."

Sam startled with the man closing the door rapidly. Sam broke the touch with Castiel.

"Now?" Castiel got up.

"It's time for doctors to come check on their patients. We gotta go before his doctor come." Gabriel explained in rush.

"Ok, just give me a second." Castiel needed more time with Sam.

Gabriel looked at the door's window and saw Sam's female doctor.

"She's coming." Gabriel announced.

"Then distract her." Castiel said with authority.

"What?" Gabriel didn't believe what his brother was suggesting or why he did so.

"Don't you say you're the 'master of seduction'?" Castiel tried to make a point and stop Gabriel for make any questions. "So prove it." Gabriel couldn't say no to a challenge and Castiel knew it.

Gabriel stopped for a moment. _Castiel, you'll have a lot to explain, but… _"Fine" And he got out.

"What's going on?" Sam asked as soon as Gabriel left.

"I shouldn't be here. I can't be here." He corrected. "There're not allowed visits at this time. Only later. If someone sees me here I'll be in trouble; I bet they'll call my brother Michael. And he forbade me to leave home."

"Why?"

"Because I ran away. Since I came back, he doesn't let me get out of the house." Sam understood; Michael feared Castiel would leave again.

"I must go." Castiel announced softly. He didn't want to leave. Sam didn't want him to leave. But he had to.

"Alright." Sam forced to make a smile but his sad look didn't fooled Castiel.

"I'll be back tomorrow." Castiel promised. Castiel saw outside the room his brother talking to the doctor with chocolate skin colour.

"Cas." Sam called when he saw Castiel stepping away from him.

Castiel turned his attention to Sam again.

"I love you." Sam said in a whisper. Instantly Castiel got back and kissed Sam deeply. That kiss was full of meaning; Castiel was grateful for what Sam said, for Sam being alive. But it was also a goodbye kiss and a promise that Castiel would came back.

"I love you more." Castiel said softly when he pulled away. He was smiling and he licked his bottom lip to preserve and take as much Sam's sweet saliva as he could, and he walked towards the door.

"You wished." Sam said. Castiel sent him a wide smile before he closes the door.

Castiel got out of the hospital room carefully. Fortunately Sam's doctor was turned back to the door. Gabriel saw him leave. Castiel waited for him next to Gabriel's car; a white Volkswagen Scirocco. Gabriel came minutes later and he didn't have a happy face. He pressed the button of the key to open the car at distance and Castiel got in the car, to escape to Gabriel; he should have questions. He should be pissed at Castiel for made him talk to the doctor.

Gabriel got in his car, started it and drove back home.

"You want to tell me what was that all about?" Gabriel spoke for the first time since they got out from the hospital.

"What?"

"Oh, you know! Why did you ask me, more order me to go talk to the doctor?" Gabriel was clearly not happy.

"Because if you didn't, we would be caught."

"I mean it, Castiel." _Oh, this was not good_. Gabriel never called him Castiel.

"I just needed more time. It was only 5 minutes." Castiel answered vaguely not revealing the real reason.

"Exactly. 5 minutes. What difference did it make, more or less 5 minutes? What was so important?"

_All moments I spend with Sam are precious. _"It just was. I needed to know what had happened to him. If he was alright."_ And comfort him too._

Gabriel didn't believe him."You know what I think? I think you just lied to me. I think I interrupted your almost kiss."

_He noticed._ Castiel closed his eyes momentarily like he had been caught. He'd hoped Gabriel hadn't noticed that moment with Sam. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know damn well. So what? You needed time to finish the business?" Suddenly Gabriel's voice was not so upset.

"Yes." Castiel had to give Sam an explanation for leaving so soon. But that wasn't what Gabriel was talking about. "No. Not at you're referring to."

"So you know what I meant." Gabriel looked to his brother while he raised an eyebrow.

"What is exactly your relationship with that boy?"

Castiel couldn't tell him. He didn't think Gabriel would have any objection, Gabriel understood and supported him in everything, but Castiel feared was the reaction of their other brothers, especially Michael's. Michael is very traditionalist; he wouldn't approve his relationship with Sam. Michael couldn't know. Castiel didn't think Gabriel would tell him, but… better safe than sorry. It was better to keep in secret.

"I told you. He's-"

"Your friend. Right." Gabriel completed. "And why I don't believe you?"

Castiel shrugged. "Believe in whatever you want. I'm not going to tell you anything else."

"Alright. So I believe you just confessed Sam is your boyfriend." Gabriel concluded with a winner smile.

Castiel didn't answer. In fact they didn't say anything more on the short ride to home. Fortunately Michael wasn't at home when they arrived. He only came about dinner time. For the first time since Castiel got back, he ate properly at dinner. His brothers eventually noticed the change but they didn't say anything. Now that all his worries and guilt were gone it gave space for biological sensations. After dinner Castiel felt tired, his energies were low and his mind was finally in low activity after several days of a big stress and anxiety. Castiel fell asleep shortly after he had lied comfy in his bed.

* * *

**If you liked it, please review.**  
**I would like to know what you think.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	14. Second day

Chapter 14: Second Day

In the next day Sam woke up and felt someone moving in his serum and painkiller tubes that connected the suspended bag to Sam's arm. He started to feel the burn in his wrist hurting again. It usually started to hurt at night, Sam hoped it stopped, but it never did, not until a nice nurse came and unblock the tube of the painkillers and let the transparent liquid pass to his veins. But this time it wasn't her who was next to his bed. This time was a man, and he seemed familiar to Sam.

"What're you doing?" Sam asked with a sleepy voice. He sat on the bed.

"Oh, you're awake." The man said turning to him. "I'm giving you analgesics so you can rest. The bag was empty."

No wonder he was in pain. His nice doctor had told him second-degree burns were very painful but not very serious. In 2 weeks his arm should be as new.

Sam recognized the man. He had seen him the day before. Even for a few seconds he could memorize his face.

"Who are you?" Sam asked.

"I'm Gabriel. Novak."

Sam was a little confused. That meant that the man the day before warned Castiel about his doctor visit and was now in front of him was…

"Yeah, I'm Cassie's brother. If that's what you're wondering." Gabriel concluded Sam's thought.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked with a confused look.

"I work here."

Sam had to admit that had been a stupid question considering Gabriel had a blue costume like all other nurses.

"Since when?" Sam hadn't seen him working until that day.

"You do a lot of questions, don't you?" Gabriel wasn't sure if Sam doubted him or he just wanted to know him. "I work here since today. Thanks to Cas, I had a date with your sexy doctor Kali last night. I told her I took a degree in nursing but I hadn't got a job yet. I told her about my curriculum. As she was amazed with my qualifications and she offered me a job." But that wasn't the only thing Kali gave him. Gabriel remembered the hot a sweaty night he had had. "Just don't tell Cas. He doesn't like I use my natural skills for my own propose. But it was his fault, he suggested it. I'm surprised he did, actually. But it doesn't matter; I won." Gabriel was glad; once more he had succeeded to Castiel's stupid test.

"I thought Cas couldn't leave home." Sam commented.

"And he can't. Mike forbade him, and told me to keep an eye on him." Gabriel explained.

"But you didn't." It was supposed to be a question but it came more like affirmation.

"No, I did. Otherwise I wouldn't have been here yesterday." Gabriel tried to make a point. "Cas was most of the time in his room. He didn't leave home. It was making no good to him."

"I guess your brother thought so."

"He doesn't know anything about Cas. He's always working, he barely stops at home." Sam could feel anger in his voice. "He doesn't know what happened to you two. He doesn't know how Cas feel about it. He doesn't know what is like to see Cas depressed every day, I do!" Gabriel exhaled. "He was killing himself. And when finally he wanted to get out and look for you again, I couldn't tell him no. We both knew the odds of you being alive were almost none but Cassie had to try. He had to make sure, as he said. Honestly, whatever happened, he couldn't get worse."

"Aren't you exaggerating a bit?" They turned their attention to Castiel that had entered by the half opened door.

"Oh, am I?" Gabriel started to approach Castiel. "You almost didn't eat, only when I compelled you. I bet you didn't sleep either. A few more days like that and you would be here."

_Was I like that? Was I that bad? I know I was mess but… _Castiel looked down. He remembered the past 2 weeks he had passed in pure depression. _Gabriel is right. How I didn't realize? But he should talk to me not tell this things to Sam._

"Why? Why are you telling him this? What's your point?" He knew Gabriel. He didn't use to talk about Castiel's life, especially with a stranger.

"My point is that you suffered enough for him." Gabriel turned to Sam. "So if you hurt my little bro again, I'll turn your life into a hell."

Sam just nodded. He wondered if Gabriel knew about his relationship with Castiel. Probably yes.

"You two be good while I'm out. I'll be right back." Gabriel left the room.

"Does he know? About us?"

"Well, yeah. He guessed. I didn't confirm… but he's convinced we're together."

"And he's cool with it?" Gabriel hadn't been very friendly in his statement.

"Yes, he's cool. If he wasn't he wouldn't have warned you first."

"Lucky me." Sam said ironically.

Castiel smiled. "How are you feeling today?" Castiel sat on the bed.

"Better. Now that you're here." Castiel stared at him. "What? Too sappy?"

"A little." Castiel confirmed.

"Well, it's true." Sam shrugged and made an angelic look.

"Or maybe it's the painkillers." Castiel suggested.

"Then it's better we make sure."

Castiel smiled. He leaned forward to find Sam's dry lips. Castiel managed to wet his lover's lips. The glow in those beautiful lips made them even more kissable. So Castiel went deeper into Sam's tasteful mouth and more frenetically.

"Definitely not the painkillers." Sam said in a whisper between kisses.

Castiel gave a quick smile. Sam put a hand on Castiel's neck, pulling him closer.

"Hey, I told you to be good." Gabriel entered with a tray with food for Sam.

"Eat this." Gabriel put the tray between Sam and Castiel. "Instead of my brother's tongue."

Sam and Castiel were looking at him. Sam was surprised and Castiel wondered if Gabriel could have been more subtle. No, Gabriel wasn't like that.

"What? I told I was coming back."

"Ok, thanks Gabriel." Castiel said. "Can you leave now?"

"I was just taking care of my personal sick boy."

Sam reflected about what Gabriel had said. "So no other nurse will come here?" The implicit question was 'Will we be completely alone?'

"Don't get ideas, kid. I'll be watching you." Gabriel said before he leaves.

Gabriel had brought him a strawberry yogurt and bread with cheese. Sam started to eat the yogurt.

"One thing I don't get it is how did you find me?" Sam commented.

"It was in part thanks to Gabriel actually. Gabriel was watching an episode of CSI and it gave me an idea. The _media_ always passed the information that you were dead, and I thought it was for your protection. If the drug dealers knew you had survived, they could come after you."

"And finish the job." Sam concluded. "Cops said it was better if no one knew I was alright, besides my family. But how did you found out I was here in this hospital? You didn't just asked for me and the nurses told you. Only a restricted number of doctors and nurses know my file."

"I have contacts." Sam raised an eyebrow. "I have a friend. He's a hacker and I asked him to access to hospitals files and search your name." Castiel explained.

"You know that's illegal." Sam said in shock.

"I know. But I had no other option."

Sam kept staring at him.

"What?" Castiel asked confused.

"You. I didn't think you would do illegal stuffs." Sam said surprised.

"Only when I need to. It's not like I'm into drugs or something."

"Speaking of which, cops have been here making questions."

"What did they ask?"

"They wanted to know the all story. But mostly they wanted the description of the drug dealers."

"Did you talk about me?"

"…No. I don't know why. I mean, I didn't know what had happened to you… but I had a feeling that your were alright. Have I done wrong?"

"No. You did well." Castiel gave him a small smile.

"You think cops will catch them?" Sam asked.

"I hope so. But honestly, I think they are already miles away from here."

"Justice must be done. They have to pay for what they did."

"The important is that you're ok." That was what mattered to Castiel.

"I wasn't talking about what happened to me. But to other people. People before me that they probably killed and people they'll hurt to take them off their way. No one cares about that."

Sam seemed disturbed and disappointed. Castiel felt some experience Sam had in past was implanted in his speech. But that was no place or time to talk about it.

"Well, you do."

"You don't?"

Castiel exhaled. "Call me selfish if you want… but the only person I care about, right now, it's you." Castiel said truthfully with love in those words.

Castiel gave him a little but tender kiss.


	15. Who are you?

Chapter 15: Who are you? 

Castiel left the hospital to get something for lunch. He wasn't hungry and didn't want to leave Sam not even for a few minutes, but Gabriel made him go buy something to eat.

Right after lunch Castiel got back to Sam's room. Sam was sleeping but he was agitated and had with frown face. Maybe he was having a nightmare or maybe the pain was coming back.

Castiel approached him carefully and touched softly in Sam's check. Sam relaxed immediately as Castiel's touch was the cure for his stress. His hand passed to Sam's arm until reach his hand. Sam slowly and unconsciously grabbed Castiel's hand.

Suddenly, Castiel felt someone behind him entering in the room. Castiel turned around and he was grabbed by a young man that pushed him against the wall. The man put an arm against Castiel's chest, preventing him to move.

The man was taller than him, maybe only a bit taller than Sam and he should be younger than Gabriel. He had short brown hair and green eyes. He was wearing a blue shirt, a jacket and dark blue jeans.

"Who are you? What are you doing?" The man said with a gross voice but not too loud.

A million of possible things the man could be passed by Castiel's mind, but he came to no conclusion. The only thing he knew was the man didn't work in the hospital or worked for the drug dealers.

"I could ask you the same thing." Castiel was surprised by his own answer. He didn't know where he got strength to react. Maybe to the idea that the man wasn't so dangerous. "I'm doing nothing." Castiel tried to get free from the man's strong arm.

"I don't believe that." The man said louder and pushed Castiel once again against the wall.

"Dean, stop! Let him go." Sam ordered, sat on the bed.

"You know him?" Dean asked.

"Yes. I do. He's my friend." Dean looked to Castiel and let go of him. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, that's a hard question. Why would I visit my brother that is in the hospital?" Dean said ironically.

"What a mean is… it's not visiting hour." Sam said with a sleepy voice.

"Exactly. I came in, out of visiting time, and I see some guy close of you when it was supposed to be no one here. And there's the possibility of some junkie come after you. What was I supposed to think?"

Sam had forgotten how protective his brother could be. He could even become aggressive sometimes.

"Well, as you can see, I'm alright." Sam tried to calm down Dean.

"So who the hell is he?"

"That's Castiel." Sam looked to Castiel. "And this is my brother, Dean"

"Pleasure to meet you." Castiel held his hand.

Dean shook his hand distrustfully.

"Dean, don't you have something to tell him?" Sam asked.

"Not really." Dean said coldly.

"Dean."

"Fine." He sighed. "Sorry for..." He said to Castiel.

"That's fine."

"So why are you here?" Dean asked Castiel, still suspicious.

"I was just visiting Sam. To know if he was better." Castiel made up. It wasn't completely a lie.

"Out of visiting hours?"

"You're here too." Castiel pointed.

Sam smiled a little. He didn't like to see his brother and his boyfriend arguing but he had to admit it was kind amusing.

"I have a good reason." Dean said.

"So do I." For Castiel to be with Sam was enough good reason.

"Oh, I'd love to ear-"

"Dean." Sam tried to put an end in the discussion. It could still end up wrong. "Cas, can you leave us?" Sam knew Dean wouldn't talk in Castiel's presence.

"Sure." Castiel passed close to Sam. "I hope you get better." He put a hand on Sam's shoulder.

Sam looked at him. "Thanks" He said but his expression meant 'sorry'. Their quick staring moment wasn't quick enough for Dean not to notice.

Then Castiel left.

"Really, where did you find that gay?"

"Dean-" Sam started to protest.

"I don't like him."

"Well, you don't have to. But he's my friend and I'd like you respected him."

Dean rolled his eyes. "You know what I think about your friends."

Not only Sam's friends, but friends in general. Dean didn't trust in people and he didn't have many friends. The people he knew better were the chicks on the bar. Since their mother died they travelled a lot. Friend they met one day, they had to leave months later.

"Is that why you came here?"

Dean exhaled. "I brought you some clothes, in case you need it."

"Thanks. Why did you come at this hour?"

"I had a break on the job. And I'll have to work more hours later, so…"

"How's the work going?"

"The work, great. The payment, not so much."

Dean worked on a car stand. It wasn't a good job but he needed the money to support Sam and their father, and cars were the only thing Dean was good at. He had a natural interest in cars and it was always him who fixed the beloved Impala. But as he hadn't any qualifications, his payment was low and sometimes he worked overtime.

Sam became worried. He thought it was unfair Dean worked so hard. Sometimes he got a part-time job to help Dean, but Dean didn't like Sam worked. Dean wanted Sam to concentrate on studies; the opportunity Dean hadn't. He didn't like school, though. But Sam did.

"Don't worry. I'll get enough money for us." Dean tried to relax Sam. "I always do."

True. Sam still thought their dad could help Dean and find a job. When their mom died, John was devastated and started drinking a lot. He started missing work, which made him loose the job he had. Sam and Dean found some other job for him but the result was the same. After than John never worked again.

"So how are you feeling today?" Dean changed subject.

Dean stood there about half hour talking to Sam. Since Sam got to the hospital Dean didn't had much time to visit him. When they called him and told him Sam had had an accident, Dean freaked out, especially when he got to the hospital and saw Sam still unconscious. Dean spent that night with Sam, praying for Sam to wake up. Well, not actually praying - Dean is not a religious guy - but he hoped Sam would get better. Dean had sworn to kill him (not so literally) for running away again, but when Sam woke up, all Dean's angry feelings vanished and were replaced by happiness. Fortunately Sam was getting better.

Castiel had gone home. Michael would come earlier than day than the early days. His brother had noticed a change on his mood. He still didn't know what had happened but Castiel was no longer with a melancholic look. That afternoon Michael allowed Castiel get out of the house, he could go anywhere. Castiel wondered what made Michael change his mind... Love. Michael was going on a date that night with a beautiful girl, according to him.


	16. Vicious Cycle

**This chapter isn't much important for the story. I was just missing Sam/Cas sexy time.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 16: Vicious cycle

Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed, hand on the bed and head down. The golden hair covered his eyes.

Sam noticed someone approaching. He smiled, with face down, when he recognize it was Castiel.

"Hey, love." Castiel greeted when he was right in front of Sam.

Sam looked at him and smirked. "Hey." Cas gave him a tender kiss while he passed a hand on Sam's hair.

Castiel sat next to Sam. "What were you doing?"

"Thinking." He said.

"About…"

"About taking a walk."

"Your doctor says it´s still early. You should let the burn on your leg heal completely."

"I know. But I'm tired of being in this bed. Besides, the burn is disappearing. It's almost good. It doesn't even hurt anymore."

"I understand, but I still think you shouldn't." Sam looked a bit disappointed and even with more doubt. "But, I know you're stubborn and you'll do it anyway. So is better someone being here to help you out."

"You know me well." He kissed Castiel.

"But if it starts hurting again, you go back to bed." Castiel warned him.

"Yes, sir." Sam joked.

Sam stood up carefully with Castiel's help. As there weren't any effects he started walking slowly.

"So… How do you feel?" Castiel asked to make sure it wasn't too early.

"The same. Nothing changed. I'm fine." He said to Castiel that was in front of him.

Sam suddenly hugs him tight. Castiel's head was crushed against Sam's chest. Instinctively Castiel put his arms around Sam's waist, hugging him back, even unknowing the reason for that strong hug.

"I wanted to do this for a long time. Since the first time I saw you walk through that door." Castiel looked up to Sam's face. "It's not the same thing when you're sitting on a bed." Sam concluded.

Castiel gave him a kiss on cheek where the burn was, now smaller.

"I love you." Sam kissed him. "I'll never leave you." Sam said looking deep into Castiel's eyes. Those words were so true that made Castiel shake. "I promise."

"Don't make promises you don't know if you can keep."

Castiel didn't believe in forever. Nothing is forever. And certainly his relationship with Sam wouldn't be an exception. There are things that are beyond their control. That they can't predict. Things that can separate them.

"Then I promise I'll do whatever I can to keep it."

They stood hugging each other for several minutes. The sun, caming from the window, was shining on their faces.

* * *

Later Sam took a shower on the bathroom in his room. He came out still wet and with a towel around his waist. He wiped his legs and put on a black underwear. Castiel was sitting on the bed looking Sam up and down. Without noticing he was actually staring at him for some time.

Sam approached the bed but Castiel kept staring where Sam was.

"Cas." Sam called but Castiel didn't react. "Hello, Earth calls Castiel."

"Hum." He turned his head a little.

"What are you thinking about?" Sam sat next to Castiel.

"Why are you so damn beautiful?" Castiel said serious.

"You know, I ask myself the same question every day." Sam joked.

They both laughed.

Then Castiel grabbed the towel and passed it to Sam's back. There were still some visible burns on his back. Sam moved when the towel passed to a burned spot on the scapula.

"Sorry." Castiel kissed the sensitive spot.

Sam relaxed again. Castiel made a track of soft kisses to Sam's neck. He turned the head around to catch Castiel lips.

Without breaking the kiss, Sam start turning and put the hands on Castiel's thighs. Slowly Sam made him lie back on the bed. Castiel's hands passed to his boyfriend's stomach muscles, chest until reach his wet hair. At this point Sam was already on top of him.

At every touch, every kiss, they were becoming aroused. They broke the kiss to breathe; their heartbeat was faster, Sam's pupils were dilated, Castiel's body was getting warmer, which contrasted with Sam's wet hair on his forehead. It was clear what was about to happen.

After a short moment Sam tried to reach Castiel's lips again.

"Wait." Castiel gently stopped Sam. "We can't do this." He said still breathing hard.

"Why not?"

"I mean, not here." He tried to control his breathing. "Someone can come in."

"No one comes here." Sam said. But he knew that wasn't quite true. "Except Gabriel."

"That's my point. I don't want even think about what he would do if he saw us right now."

Castiel saw some disappointment in Sam's eyes. "Besides, then you would have to take another shower. And we would get in a vicious cycle."

Sam smiled. He considered and imagined what Castiel said. "That doesn't sound so bad. I miss being with you."

"When you get out of here. We'll have a lot of time."

"I can't wait to get out."

"Until then…" Castiel pushed Sam to the side and rolled over him. "you'll have to be satisfied with my kisses." Castiel kissed him tenderly.

After some kisses Sam got dressed. Just in time because Gabriel came to check on them. Sam had to admit Castiel was right. Sometimes it seemed he had a sixth sense.


	17. It's my life

Chapter 17: It's my life

School days began after an interruption for improvement of installations and repair classrooms. With classes, Castiel hadn't so much time to visit Sam. In fact he hadn't seen him in a couple of days. The good thing was that Sam was getting better. He wouldn't be much more days in the hospital.

At the afternoon, when classes ended Castiel left the school with his classmates. Then his colleges started to split up until Castiel being alone.

"Hey, beautiful." Someone called from a dark alley.

Castiel turned to see who was there. "Sam" Surprised and happy, he hugged Sam.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel asked with a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"What does it looks like? I was waiting for you."

"I thought you were still in the hospital."

"My doctor said I could go home." Sam kissed his beloved boyfriend.

They hear a sound. Like a click. They see a skinny girl with blond long hair taking a picture of them.

"Oh my god." She said. She was wearing a white skirt and a pink T-shirt.

"Jo, give me that." Castiel extended a hand.

"Oh, you two are so sweet." She said looking at the picture. "I have to send this to everyone."

"Don't you dare." Castiel warned her.

"Too late. I already send it."

"If I didn't know you, I might have believed in you."

"You know, I should post it on Facebook. You get a boyfriend and you don't tell me anything? What kind of friend are you?" She said half joking, half dramatic.

"Look, no one knows. Except Gabriel."

"How long do you know me?" Jo asked.

"Practically since forever."

"And you still don't trust me? I thought we had a deal… to tell everything to each other. No secrets."

"Of course I trust you. I just didn't have occasion to tell you. I don't want this to spread."

Jo calmed down. "You think Lilith and her gang will do something?"

"Honestly, I don't know. But I don't care. They don't affect me anymore. Screw her and her homophobic boyfriends."

Lilith was a popular girl in the school. She was beautiful, rich and spoiled. She had all boys after her and they did everything she wanted. She discriminated every people who were different, like black people, pour people, handicap and gays. As if they were less human because of it. Castiel had experienced her discrimination, but Jo didn't know how far it went. There was a rumour that she sent some boys who had a crush on her to hit in those she didn't like.

"I'm sorry. I can be such a bitch sometimes… It just feels like only bad things happen to me lately." Jo said sadly.

"We should have a diner someday." Castiel suggested.

"Yeah, I really need one of our diners… If your boyfriend doesn't mind I steal you for one night. By the way, how about you introduce him to me?"

Sam was behind Castiel. He was trying to catch up the talk.

"That's Sam." Castiel pointed at him.

"Hi." Sam said.

"Hi, I'm Jo." She gave a kiss on Sam's cheek.

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?" Jo asked Sam because he was looking at her with a strange face. "No, don't answer that." Then Jo changed the subject. "I don't have anything against you, but as Cas' friend I have to warn you… if you hurt him, you'll have to deal with me."

"Yeah, I know. You're not the first to give that speech. I wouldn't dare to hurt him."

"And to prove I could do it I'm going right now kick Balthazar's ass."

"What? Balthazar's here?" Castiel asked surprised and a bit scared too.

"Yes. He came to town a few days ago. I thought you knew."

"No. I didn't." Castiel said in a low voice.

"Who's Balthazar?" Sam asked, seen the discomfort of Castiel about the matter.

"He was in our class last year." Castiel answered.

"He's a thief and a jerk!" Jo added, loudly. "But this isn't the important part for you." She looked at Castiel.

"He's my ex boyfriend." Castiel confessed.

Sam looked at him surprised and confused.

"Yeah, I also don't understand how he could date a guy like that." She said to Sam.

"Jo, don't go after him." Castiel asked.

"I don't believe it. After what he did, you're still defending him?"

"I'm not defending him." Castiel stated. "It's just… whatever you do to him; it won't change what he did to me. What is done is done. Don't be like him. He doesn't worth it."

"But you do." Jo complained.

"Just… let it go."

"I can't! I watched you suffer for that bastard." It was noticeable Jo cared about Castiel.

"And I got over it, what he did. I'm good now." Castiel replied.

"You're sweet. He shouldn't have left you."

"That's his loss." Castiel said in a tone of indifference.

"And someone's gain."Jo glanced at Sam. "Okay, I won't do anything."

Jo went behind Castiel and got between him and Sam. She put each arm around their necks. "Well, I better get going." She kissed Castiel on the cheek and then Sam too. "I hope we see us again soon." And she walked away.

Sam wanted to know more about Balthazar but Castiel never gave him straight answers. He obviously didn't want to talk about it. The fact Balthazar had came back made him uneasy, and that made Sam question their relationship.

They went to Castiel's house, which was empty. Sam found it large compared to his small house. To change Balthazar's subject they watched a movie in the living room.

At the middle of the film Castiel lied down on the couch with the head on his boyfriend's lap. Even with some tension between them, Sam caressed his arm. Castiel grabbed Sam's hand, put it against his chest and entwined their fingers. Sam secretly smiled.

"How… sweet." Someone said from the middle of the stairs to the first floor.

Castiel stood up rapidly. "Balthazar."

Balthazar slid down the banister. "Hi, darling." He smirked.

Balthazar was 19. He had blonde dark hair and pale blue eyes. He was wearing a black jeans and a grey T-shirt.

"How did you get in?" Castiel asked.

"Really Cassie, I thought you knew me better. I still have my climbing skills." He said approaching Castiel.

"There's something called a door." Castiel said.

"Oh, I know. But it's harder to break in. And if I knocked, would you open the door?" He raised an eyebrow.

Castiel didn't answer. "What do you want?"

"Talk to you." Balthazar said, and then he looked at Sam. "I just didn't know you had company."

Sam got next to Castiel. He holds his hand.

"You're Sam, right?" Balthazar said jealously.

"Yeah."

"You want to talk; you should've done it last year. Before you leave." Castiel said angry, hurt and disappointed.

"I had to go, Cassie." He tried to explain.

"You didn't say anything. Not even left a note, a message, nothing. You just took off." Castiel criticized him. "And now it's too late. We don't have anything to talk about. We're over. We're done." He finished in a softer voice, but still determined.

Balthazar's phone rang. He got a text.

"Well, I have to go. But I'll come back." He pointed a finger at Castiel. "This isn't over. And we're done when I say we're done." He came closer to Castiel, intimidating him. Sam noticed it too because Castiel grabbed his hand tighter. "Because I know you, better than him. I know you still love me. And I'm going prove it to you." Balthazar said confidently, and then he walked out the door.


	18. Point proved

Chapter 18: Point proved

It had pass two days since Balthazar appeared in Novaks house. Castiel tried not to think much about it. In fact he had better things to do. Sam was accepted in the school Castiel was. By coincidence or maybe destiny, Sam was in the same class as Castiel and Jo.

At the afternoon, after school they went to Castiel's house. His brothers were there so Castiel introduced Sam to them as his new colleague. Gabriel already knew Sam, of course. Lucifer simply didn't care about him, Jo came frequently to their house and he still did know her name. Michael was apprehensive, he thought Castiel was trusting Sam too much for a person he had just met.

One dark night, Castiel was sleeping in his bedroom. He was dreaming about a sunny day in a playground where he used to play. But suddenly the weather changed; became cold and windy. Castiel woke up with cold and then he noticed the window was open.

"You still look beautiful when you're sleeping." Balthazar said from the other side of the bed.

Castiel startled. "What do you want?" He asked hostility as he got up from the bed. Only then he noticed he was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt.

"I want to finish our conversation." Castiel felt Balthazar spotting him up and down.

"If you'll keep being a bitch you can leave now." He warned his former boyfriend.

"Ok, sorry. I'm used to be a badass."

"You're still working in that gang? Stealing things and threatening people to get their money?" Castiel accused him.

"I have to." Balthazar looked down. "I need to. To survive. I can't do anything else. I grew up in an environment of hiding, stealing, lying and running. And that's who I am."

"That's why you left me?" Castiel was still mad, but he also wanted to understand.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? That's all you have to say? I knew you would leave, someday. But I thought at least you'd talk to me. I was… I was worried about you. I thought something had happened to you." Castiel remembered the hurt he felt when Balthazar left. He felt also angry for had given his heart to someone who didn't deserve it. "But no, you just ran away."

"I didn't have time to tell you. I just… had to go. That's all I can tell you."

"Oh, right. You and your secrets…"

Balthazar got closer. "I can't tell you. I wish I could… so maybe you could forgive me." For a brief moment Castiel saw him, who he was in reality. A part of him that Castiel thought it was gone. The part he had fall in love for. Beside the badass part of Balthazar, he had also a sweet and sentimental side. Castiel remembered the time he spent with, once his, Balthy. They were all good moments and they eliminated the pain in Castiel's heart.

Without realizing it, Castiel was looking into his eyes that could be as lovely and sweet as threatening and perverse; in that moment Castiel couldn't tell. So he step back to get out of Balthazar's personal space.

"Don't run away from me, Cassie. Don't run away from what you want." Castiel wasn't sure of what he meant, but he found out soon. "You still love me."

"No, I don't. I loved you once… but not anymore."

"You didn't just forget our moments. You miss them. And you want them back." Balthazar got closer with a seductive look.

"No." Castiel shook his head.

"Yes, you do. You left the window unlocked, like you used to do, so I could get in and warm you up in the cold nights." Castiel used to love when he came and lay next to him in bed, kissed him and put an arm over him. "I bet you left it open all nights, hoping that I would come back. And I did. You say you get over me, that you don't love me anymore… but you still left it open."

Castiel stepped back and shook his head, saying no. But inside he knew it was true. "That doesn't mean anything."

"No? So you never told Jo you missed me… and even being a jerk, you would come back to me?" Balthazar cornered him to the wall.

"How do you know that?" Balthazar already knew, so there was no point in deny it.

"I'm always well informed."

"It doesn't matter. That was 2 months ago. A lot of things changed since then."

"Things never change with you." He was in Castiel's personal space now. Castiel tried to push him away but his hands were shaking. When he reached Balthazar's body no force was applied. The trembling hands touched softly on Balthazar's belly.

"I know you, from inside out. You know I do." He held Castiel's arms against the wall. Castiel could feel the heat that came from his ex-boyfriend's body. "I know…" He got closer to catch Castiel's lips, but he turned the head around. "…every sensitive spot on you…" Balthazar kissed him on the neck. "…to turn you on." And he kissed him a few more times.

"Let me go." Castiel wasn't demanding. He was more asking in a low voice. Castiel tried to escape from his ex-boyfriend's strong arms, but Balthazar got even closer, until their bodies were touching. The kisses went on. When Balthazar's hot and wet tongue touched a sensitive nerve, Castiel shivered.

Castiel was confused. This wasn't right, but… The truth is that he had waited for this moment for a long time. To see Balthazar again, to fell his touch, his kisses on his body like he used to do. Like only he knew. Balthazar sure knew him.

"Stop. Please." His mind ordered him to say. Castiel's mind and his feelings were in conflict. His mind told him no, but his body instincts were asking for more.

Balthazar felt Castiel relax. Not exactly relaxing… but more allowing. His body was warming, his heartbeat faster, his brain was working fast… it had to work out so many different feeling that the best thing to do was shut it down.

Balthazar let go of him slowly, to make sure Castiel didn't escape. His hands grabbed Castiel's waist and travelled down until he reach the end of the t-shirt. He lifted the t-shirt to touch Castiel's hip. His skin was soft and was starting to become wet from the perspiration. Balthazar trailed his hands softly to Castiel's back… up and down.

Soft touches were over, now Balthazar passed his hands vigorously for Castiel's belly and chest. He put a leg between Castiel's, pressing his crotch. Balthazar touched one more time in his ex-boyfriend's nipples before he trailed his hands down until he reaches Castiel's boxers. He put his thumbs inside the boxers, which made Castiel shiver and gasp softly.

Balthazar was sucking hard Castiel's neck to leave a hickey. Castiel protested and Balthazar stopped. They were looking at each other. The blue part of both boys' eyes had gone dark. Balthazar was waiting for Castiel to make his move. And Castiel moved forward to reach his lips. But they only touched a bit because the kiss was interrupted by Balthazar's phone that was vibrating.

"Damn it." Balthazar said almost inaudible. He knew who was calling him and why. "Sorry, darling. I have to go." He started to back off. "I'll come back other day. After all, I already proved my point… Just don't forget where we were." He planted a strong kiss in Castiel's lips before jump from window and disappears in the darkness, leaving Castiel immobile against the wall, breathing fast.


	19. Sad but true

Chapter 19: Sad but true

Castiel couldn't sleep that night, and less in the next. After Balthazar leave, Castiel realized what had happened, what he had done. He was ashamed for letting Balthazar get what he wanted, for letting Balthazar manipulate him like that. And yet, that wasn't entirely true. He could've stopped him, but he didn't. What did it mean? Did it mean he was still in love with Balthazar?

Beside shame, guilt invaded him when thought of Sam, of how he betrayed him. It was like he had stabbed Sam in the back and he didn't even realized it. At school Sam was fine, normal. He had no clue that such tragedy had happened. Eventually he got suspicious. Castiel couldn't fake or hide how he felt, and Sam knew something was wrong, although Castiel always tell him he was fine.

But Sam kept insisting and Castiel couldn't keep lying to him, so Castiel told him, not very detailed, of course. He told Sam he had cheated on him – that was what Castiel felt – and he was terribly sorry. He wasn't sure of their relation and the best was to break up with him, for his own good.

Sam was incredulous and hurt. How could Cas have done that to him? After everything they had been through… Had it been all a lie? Maybe Cas had never loved him. Maybe he always loved Balthazar.

And so they were done. It was all over, as fast as it had begun.

As days passed, new robberies appeared in the newspaper, the police thought the robberies had been made by a gang that also smuggled drugs.

Sam and Castiel only saw each other at school. The ambient between them was tense and uncomfortable.

One day Castiel didn't go to school which Sam found strange. Castiel wasn't the type of miss classes. So he went to talk to Jo.

"Have you seen Cas?" He asked Jo.

"Which day is it?" She looked to her phone she was holding. "Damn it. How could I forget?"

"What? What happens today?"

"Today makes 12 years that Cas' parents died. He usually doesn't come to classes those days. He should be at the cemetery. And I should be there with him." She stopped for a moment. "When this class ends, I'm going to the cemetery. You wanna come?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Sam replied reluctantly.

"I know you're not together anymore. But you obviously care about him. And you have no idea how this affects him. I thought he would be better with time… but no. He needs us. He needs our support."

Castiel was at the cemetery. He took flowers to his mom and dad's grave. In the days of their anniversary of death, was when Castiel missed them the most. He was only 5 when they died, he learned to live without them… but he still missed them. Their graves were one next to the other and they were close to the white wall that surrounded the cemetery. Castiel noticed someone sitting on the wall.

"What are you doing here?" He asked Balthazar with a sad, but not angry voice.

"I know which day is it. I know it is hard for you… C'mon, you need someone."

"This isn't all about my parents. My life became a mess since you came back. So no, I don't need your solidarity." _With so many people… Why does it have to be you who is here?_

"Please." He took Castiel's hand. "I promise. No second intentions." He slowly pulled him closer and then he hugged him. Castiel was hesitant at first but then he relaxed and accepted the hug.

Outside the gates of the cemetery, Sam and Jo were watching the scene. Neither of them wanted to believe what they were seeing. Jo just wanted to kick Balthazar's ass, like she should have done in the first place. Sam regretted coming, he was only hurting himself. But he still didn't do anything. They just kept watching.

When Castiel and Balthazar let go, Castiel noticed a tattoo on Balthazar's arm. The black tattoo was half covered by the rolled up sweatshirt. But Castiel recognized it immediately.

"What is this?" Castiel grabbed his arm and pointed to the tattoo.

"What? You're my mom now? I can't even do a freaking tattoo?" Balthazar joked.

"It's the same tattoo that one of the drug dealers, who tried to kill Sam, had." Castiel said seriously.

"There's a lot of tattoos-"

"You're in with them, aren't you? You belong to the gang." That tattoo should be the symbol of the gang.

"No. I-"

"No? Then prove it. Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with them." Castiel asked convict, but a part of him still hoped that Balthazar denied.

Balthazar was staring at him… but he couldn't say anything.

"You son of a bitch." Castiel shook his head, disappointed.

He turned around and started leaving. He momentarily sees Sam and Jo outside.

"Wait." Balthazar grabbed him by the arm. As he turns him around, Castiel punched him in the face, angrily.

"I thought you were different. I thought there was a bit of goodness in your heart. I thought that you knew the line between what's wrong and what's really wrong. But no. You're not just a common thief. You're worst. You're a drug dealer… and a murder." Castiel said in disgust, with his heart already broken in thousand pieces, and Balthazar had stepped on them.

"I didn't know you were there. The house was supposed to be empty. And we have to follow the plan B when something goes wrong. We can't leave any evidences." He tried to apologize, giving a reason.

"Then why… why didn't they try to kill me?" That was the part Castiel couldn't understand.

"Because I told them not to."

Castiel stood a moment staring at him, surprised. "So you're like the boss? It was your plan?" Castiel couldn't believe how Balthazar had tricked him. He knew what had happened. "How can you be so heartless?"

"I'm just defining my priorities." Castiel felt there was more behind that answer.

"The time we've been together I never asked you about the gang, because I knew you didn't like to talk about it and I didn't want to upset you. It was enough for me when you said you couldn't tell me. Well, now I'm done. I'm not going to take more of your crap. For once… tell me the truth." Castiel pressured him.

Balthazar looked down momentarily and then again to Castiel. "You want to know the truth? The truth is that I was going get out of the gang. I was gonna leave this life like you wanted me to do." He confessed. "But they wouldn't let me just go. I was either able to run away or they would kill me. So I planned my escape, and I was going to tell you about it. But they found out." Balthazar looked down. "They locked me up, they beat me. They were after my family, which I hadn't seen them in years, and they killed them. They killed them all. Some I didn't even knew…" Castiel saw tears forming in Balthazar's eyes, but they didn't fell. "And I thought 'I've got nothing else to lose'. But I was wrong. They needed me, they had to make me keep doing the job. So if I tried to escape again… they would kill you." He looked back at Castiel. "And I can't lose you too. You're the only one I got left." One sad tear rolled down Balthazar's cheek. "So I took advantage and I made a deal with them. They can't harm you, because if they kill you…they lose me. I'll walk away. They will probably kill me, but I don't care… I just want to keep you safe."

Castiel was shocked by the scary news. It was unbelievable and sad… but it was true.

"Basically... you're saving my life." Castiel said sadly.

"Yes. I didn't tell you before to protect you. The more you know more reasons they'll have to kill you. That's why I have to go." He brought a hand to Castiel's cheek and caressed it.

"I'm sorry." Castiel said truthfully. "For what I said to you… and for hitting you."

"Don't apologize. This doesn't change what I did. All you said about me is right. About the punch… I was kinda asking for it." Balthazar smiled sadly.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't have much choice. I'll just keep living. I'll make sure you keep living. I don't know what's going to happen next. I don't know if we'll see each other again. So I just wanted to say 'thanks'." He looked in Castiel's blue eyes. "Thanks for believing in me. For discovered in me a part that I thought it didn't existed anymore. Thanks for loving me when I didn't deserved it. And for making me love you." Sadness filled Castiel's heart.

"Goodbye." Balthazar kissed him in the cheek, tenderly.

Then he walked away towards the open gate of the cemetery. Outside Sam and Jo were still there. Jo was prepared to hit him.

"You don't need to hit me. I already got what I deserved. And I'll never bother you again." Balthazar told Jo. Then he turned to Sam. "Just take care him."

Castiel had been static at first. He tried to think what to do. He though in doing what his heart was telling him, although he shouldn't, but what the hell, this was probably the last time he was going to see Balthazar. He needed to know one more thing.

So he ran to the gates. "Wait." He called Balthazar softly.

Balthazar turned around. Castiel stopped for moments when he saw Sam. "Sam, forgive me for this." He apologized in advance.

Sam didn't understand at first. But then it became clear, too much clear in fact. Because in the next second Castiel was kissing Balthazar. He had been caught by surprised but immediately replied by kissing Castiel back. He put a hand on Castiel's neck, deepening the kiss; then he let it slid down along Castiel's body.

Castiel's had got the answer he was looking for. So he grabbed Balthazar's hand that was in his lower back. "Don't push it." He said in a low voice. The kiss hasn't a proof of love. It was more a kind of test to know what he felt for Balthazar.

Balthazar smiled. "You don't love me anymore." That was also the conclusion that Castiel had come to. During the kiss he didn't feel anything special, not a spark. There was nothing more than sadness, affection and friendship. It was a goodbye kiss.

"How do you know?" Castiel turned his head, confused.

"You remember when I used to say there was a spark in your eyes…?" He used to say Castiel's eyes became shinning blue.

"So, the spark is gone?"

"No. It's still there…" Balthazar pointed to his eyes. "Just not when you look at me." He looked at Sam. "I'm sorry for made you break up. I didn't mean to… Well, actually I did." He turned to Castiel again. "But we could never be together and I should've known that. So if I can't have you, someone should."

"I'm sorry for telling you today, I know it's too much for you. I know what happened. Even the part you don't tell anyone. I think you should tell him." Castiel asked himself how Balthazar knew… but that was Balthazar. "Can you do me a favour? Live your life as there was no tomorrow. Take a chance and don't be afraid. Just be happy, Cassie." Balthazar let go of Castiel's hand he was holding since the kiss. He walked away until disappear into the horizon.

Jo approached Castiel. "I should go too." It was better leave those crazy lovers work their things out. "I don't believe I'm going to say this but… I agree with Balthazar." Jo gave a kiss in Castiel's cheek. "If you need something, call me." And she left.

Castiel turned to Sam. "I'm sorry… about the kiss, about everything I did." He said a bit ashamed. "Will you come with me to a place?"

Sam thought for a moment. But after all that had happened, he couldn't say no. "Sure. Where are we going?"

"We're going to 12 years ago."

They went to an old bridge not far from where they were, where a river passed under. Cars used to pass there to get to the other side of river, but now it was rare to see cars passing the bridge. They had built an alternative road.

They approached the metallic rail at the border. Sam noticed Castiel was anxious and at same time a bit scared.

"You see the broken rail, in the middle of the bridge?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah…" He said, not understand the point.

"It was there. It was where my parents had the accident." Castiel paused. "I remember that day; the sky was dark and it was raining a lot. The car must have slide and my dad couldn't control it… so the car hit on the rail. But it didn't stop the car, and they fell on the water. They were dragged by the strong current, according by a newspaper I read." Castiel was looking to the water. The tears he was trying to contain were burning his eyes.

"You don't have to tell me this if you don't want to. You already told me your parents died in an accident, that's enough for me." Sam understood how hard it was to talk about a familiar's death.

"I didn't tell everything. It wasn't only my parents who were in the car. Jimmy was there too." Castiel said with a trembling voice as tears rolled down his face.

"Who's Jimmy?" Sam asked confused.

"Jimmy's my brother. My twin brother." Castiel still referred him as he was still alive. Even if he was dead, he was still his brother.

"My parents were visiting our grandmother. Jimmy wanted to go too, but he was sick, so our mother didn't let him go. But that didn't stop him; he hid himself in the car. I don't know if my parents noticed him before…" His voice trailed as his body shivered.

Sam was in shock and sad too, for seeing how disturbed Castiel was. Sam couldn't think of what he would do if something happened to Dean. If his mother's death had been painful, Dean's death would kill him. And Castiel had to work it out all at the same time, when he was only 5.

Sam put a hand on Castiel's back. Castiel looked at him sadly. Sam got closer and hugged him. Castiel was shaking and he grabbed nervously Sam's jacket tight. He started to feel hot tears that passed through his sweatshirt. He hugged Castiel tighter, as if wanted to say everything was going be alright. But Castiel just needed to let it all come out.

Sam rubbing his back and his body head and comfort, made Castiel start to calm down, moments later. He stopped shaking and tears slowly ceased.

"I never had the courage to come here. I also never told this to anyone. Not my brothers, not my friends…"

"Then why did you told me?" Sam wondered what made him so special.

"Me and Jimmy… we were very close. We had a strong connection, almost like telepathy. We thought the same things, the same way. I knew what he was thinking all the time. I don't really understand it, I just felt a strong bond between us. But when he died, it was gone. It was like a part of me had died too. But when I met you… the first time I saw you… I felt it again. The night we met I wasn't even close of where you were. I didn't saw what happened... but I felt you were in danger." Castiel paused. "And even when you supposedly died, if I had calm down I would knew you were alive. And maybe I did… I don't know. The point is; it only made sense to tell YOU."

"I'm sorry, for my insecurity. Now I'm sure…" Sam interrupted him with an unexpected kiss, so long awaited. "…I still love you." Castiel conclude in a whisper.

"You have no idea how I missed kissing you." Sam holds Castiel's hands.

"Then show me."


	20. Love sex and magic

Chapter 20: Love, sex and magic

Castiel knocked on the door of Sam's house. The house was old and degraded.

Sam opened the door. "What was so important?" Castiel asked him. Sam had sent him a text telling him to come to his place, which Castiel found strange.

"Come with me." Sam said and took Castiel's hand and leaded him to the basement. Sam opened the door and they started to go downstairs.

The basement was clean and tidy. There was furniture around the walls, in the middle there was a table ready for a dinner, red candles illuminated the place. Usually basements were cold but the one was cosy and… private.

They got to the floor. Castiel had found it strange but then he understood Sam's plan; a romantic dinner.

"So this was what you couldn't tell me..." Castiel conclude.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you." Sam pointed out with a smirk.

"Well, you did a good job. This is lovely." Castiel told him.

"You're lovely." Sam kissed him. There was something different about this kiss. It wasn't tender like the most of them; it was more… kind of desperate.

"What are your plans for tonight?" Castiel asked, interrupting the kiss.

Sam smirked. With hands under Castiel's jacket, Sam pushed him back until he hit on a chest of drawers. "I give you a clue." He reached Castiel's lips again. Sam held him by the waist and sat him on the top of the chest of drawers. "You said we had time when I got out of the hospital…" Sam whispered, sending a warm shiver through Castiel's body.

"And…what about the dinner?"

"I'm not hungry. Are you?"

"For food, not really." He grabbed Sam's sweatshirt and pulled him closer to kiss him.

Sam spread Castiel's legs and pulled him, making their bodies touch each other. Sam's hands rose from Castiel's legs to his t-shirt, as they kissed. At a certain point Sam reached his lover´s arms and took off his leather jacket. Soon Castiel's t-shirt was on the floor too.

Sam started kissing him on the neck. Gentle kisses at first, but as the temperature between them rose, kisses turned into strong licks and a few soft bites.

Castiel curled his legs around Sam's waist and Sam raised him from the chest of drawers. With hands under Castiel's butt, holding him, Sam took him to a bed hidden behind a curtain. Sam sat on the bottom of the bed with Castiel on his lap, always kissing his boyfriend. Sam took off his own sweatshirt, discovering his body. Castiel pushed Sam gently but with determination, making him fall on the soft quilt. Castiel couldn't resist to that beautiful sexy and appealing image, so he lied down and kissed Sam a bit roughly. While their tongues touched tasting each other essence, Sam was looking for more body contact.

But Castiel grabbed his arms. "Nah… You're my, now." He gasped at Sam's ear.

Castiel loosened Sam's belt, and took off his pants, touching Sam's firm and unsteady legs. Castiel put a leg between Sam's and kissed Sam's neck while he pressured his leg against Sam's cock. "Cas…"Sam said in a gasp. Castiel came lower and kissed Sam's chest and then he reached his nipples. The hot tongue on his skin made Sam have a kind of convulsion of pleasure. Sam's cock was hard and he knew it was time to lead things to the next level. Even rush a bit, or else the magic moment would come earlier than expected.

Sam couldn't stay still anymore while Castiel licked his nipples. He grabbed Castiel's waist and push him to the side. Sam was on top of him. "My turn…" He said close to his boyfriend's lips. Castiel was waiting for the kiss but Sam had other plans in mind. He quickly took off Castiel's pants. He kissed his lovers belly as he made Castiel's underpants slide on his legs. All those kisses and vigorous touches were making Castiel moan. Sam got lower; Castiel didn't saw it coming, he only noticed it when he felt Sam pressing a slick finger inside of him. "Sam…" Castiel screamed in a mix of pleasure and a bit of discomfort. The slight pain disappeared as Sam continued and Castiel relaxed. Also Sam's sweet kissed helped.

Sam passed his hands over Castiel's sweaty body and gave him the awaited wet kiss. Castiel put his trembling arms around Sam's neck and grabbed his hair. "Ahh…" Castiel let out when he felt Sam getting inside of him. Sam put him in a comfortable position, in which the only thing they felt was pleasure. It felt so good… More that pleasure, it gave them security. Even for a few minutes, they were connected; they were as one and no one could break their bond. It was their magical moment.

Sam put on some rhythm. The sound of each other's soft moans and gasps was delightfully exciting. Their mouths touched once in a while, alternating with panting breaths. The smell of the candles mixed with their own natural odour was intoxicating. With all that proper climate and body friction, soon Sam reached the climax and his fluids were transferred to his lover. During the orgasm, Castiel's body tensed up and he grabbed Sam's back strongly with his nails, almost leaving scratches.

Sam lied down, breathless, next to his boyfriend. When Castiel was able to catch his breath and move, he turned to Sam and laid his head on his chest. "…I love you" Castiel swore in a whisper.

Sam put an arm around him. "I love you too. Now and forever." And he kissed him passionately.

* * *

In the next morning Sam woke up with the image of Castiel's back. Castiel was still sleeping peacefully.

Suddenly Sam heard a low music; Castiel's phone was ringing. Sam got out of the bed and tried to find before Castiel woke up with the noise. After looking in some clothes scattered on the floor, Sam found it on Castiel's jacket. It had several messages from Gabriel asking where Castiel was. As Gabriel sound kind of worried Sam decided to answer.

Castiel woke up with Sam in front of him, still naked. "What a beautiful view to start the day…" Sam smiled at Castiel's comment.

"Good morning." Sam bent down and kissed his boyfriend.

Castiel noticed Sam was holding his phone and pointing it at him. "Sam, what are you doing? Are you…taking me a picture?"

"Yes." Sam said looking at the phone.

"…Why?" Castiel asked intrigued.

"Gabriel sent you a text. He wanted to know where you were. So I told him you were in my house, sleeping. He told me to prove it… so I just sent him a picture of you." Sam explained. "And also because you look super sexy with your hair in a mess."

Castiel smiled. "Oh… Well, that's last night's effect." Sam walked around the bed and sat down. "It was all you, baby." Castiel concluded.

"Looks like I did a good job." He kissed Castiel.

The phone started ringing again. "Gabriel says 'Liar. He's not sleeping'."Sam laughed. But his smile faded as he kept reading. "He says Michael has been asking for you."

"I should get back home…" Castiel said.

"Don't-" Sam grabbed Castiel's hand.

"Michael is going to be pissed…"

"I bet he's already pissed." Sam said softly. "A few more time won't change anything." He got closer to Castiel. "Don't go…" Sam pleaded with sweet green puppy eyes. "Just this once…" He kissed Castiel on the shoulder. "Stay." He whispered at his lover's ear.

Castiel kissed Sam on lips and they lied down. "You know I would never leave you…" Castiel interrupted the kisses. "I was just messing with you." Castiel smiled a bit.

"So that was all fake." Sam said incredulous. "You would give a pretty good actor."

"I just wanted to know how bad you wanted me."

"That's not funny." Sam said with an inexpressive face. Castiel wasn't sure if he had been upset or not. "You thought you could screw with me and everything was fine?" Sam smirked playfully and lied above Castiel. "I'll make you pay for what you did." And he kissed Castiel passionately. Sam passed a leg to the other side of Castiel's body, being sitting on top of him.

"Don't get any ideas…" Castiel warned him.

"I already have some ideas, darling…" Sam kissed him again. "I need a shower. You want to join?" But that wasn't really a question. "Come on. We're alone at home."

* * *

**I realised in the most of my chapters the names are based on a song. So here's a list of the song I used and listned while I was writing.**  
**Eve 6 - Think Twice**  
**Limp Bizkit - My way**  
**Wolfmother- White Feather**  
**The Who - Who are you**  
**Bon Jovi - It's my life**  
**Metallica - Sad but true**

**And to this chapter I used:**  
**Ciara ft. Justin Timberlake - Love sex and magic**  
**Skazi- I wish**  
**Carlos Santana ft. Chris Daughtry - Photograph**

**Well, Thanks for reading. If you liked, don't forget to review :)**


	21. Duel of fates

Chapter 21: Duel of fates

After a hot sex bath, they got out of the bathroom with a towel around the waist. In the return to the basement, Sam pulled closer his boyfriend to steal a kiss. Castiel put the arms around Sam's neck and grabbed his wet hair.

Castiel noticed someone approaching from the living room. "Sam." Castiel alerted him in a whisper.

Sam turned around. "Dean."

Dean was surprised by the unexpected image. "What the hell, Sam." He shouted.

"This is not what it looks like." Sam said instantly.

"Oh, really…?"

"Actually it is what it looks like…" Sam corrected. "But, I can explain."

"You know what? Forget it. I don't want to hear your undying love speech. I don't care. It doesn't matter."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Sam asked confused.

"It means… I spoke with dad last night… and we are leaving."

"What?" Sam couldn't believe he had to go away again.

"Come on. You knew this was gonna happen… sooner or later." Dean told him.

"Yeah, I knew…" Sam replied in a lower voice as he looked down momentarily. "That's why I made a decision; I'm not going." He looked back at his brother.

"Wha-Why? Because of him?" Dean pointed at Castiel who was also surprised by his boyfriend's decision.

"No. Because I'm tired of moving around every time dad screws up. What was this time? A fight in a bar? A punch in a cop? Or something worse?"

"It doesn't matter. You go pack up your stuff and we're going." Dean demanded.

"No! We've been always moving around since mom died. I never liked it. At the time I was just a kid…but now I can take care of myself." Sam explained.

"So what's your plan? Get rid of your family? Live here, all by yourself?" Dean asked upset.

"I wanted to talk to you about it earlier…" Sam said calmly. "I thought…we could stay here. You and me. You talk to dad-"

"No!" Dean interrupted his brother.

"I don't understand… Why do you always do what he says? How can you never complain when you get the money to sustain us and dad spends it on drinks?" Sam came closer to Dean with a demanding look. Dean rarely talked about what he feels.

"We already lost mom. I'm just trying to keep us together… That's what mom would want." Dean said looking down.

"Mom would want us to be happy… Are you happy, Dean? Because I'm not."

"What you're talking about? I'm happy." Dean said not very confidently.

"I can see that." Sam said ironically. "You have no friends. You don't talk to anyone."

"Why making friends if then I'll have to leave again? It's always the same thing. So it's easier if I don't meet anyone… And you should have done the same."

"You know, that was one of the reasons I run away. To get away from everyone… And it didn't go so well. Because you can run, but someone will always find you." Sam calm down. "I can't. I need to socialize."

"Hey, I'm not an antisocial… I go out and I have some fun in bars. If you want to 'socialize', do it like me."

"What? Get laid with some chick in the bar? Sorry, but I need more than that." Sam said seriously. "And now that I've found it… I'm not going to let go of him." Only then Sam noticed what he had said.

"You wanna stay? Fine. You go tell that to dad." Dean said angry.

Sam was expecting that Dean would talk to their father. He was the only one who could convince him to let Sam, and Dean if he wanted, to stay. But now he knew Dean wouldn't do that. He was on his own.

"I will." Sam said determined to talk to their father. With luck, he would be glad to get rid of Sam.

"I'm going to pack my stuff." And Dean went to his room.

"Sam…" Castiel called while he approached and touched in his boyfriend's arm. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"I didn't want to worry you. Besides, this has nothing to do with you. This is my choice."

"That's a lie… Dean was right. You're staying because of me. You may want to get away from your dad, but… you're only staying, here, because of me." Castiel said looking into Sam's eyes.

"Well, it's a good motive." Sam kissed him tenderly during a minute.

"Sam, you're abandoning your family. You're sure about this?" Castiel asked worried.

"Yes. This wasn't what I had planed… but I'll talk to my dad. And it must be tonight."

"I have a bad feeling about this…"

* * *

John came home late that night. Sam followed him to his room. At the door he noticed his father was drunk as usual.

"Dad…" Sam called coming in the room. John turned around. "…I need to talk to you."

John approached of his son. "Actually… I need to talk to you too." He said dizzy.

Sam didn't know what his father wanted to talk to him about. He wondered if he already knew about his decision. Perhaps Dean had told him…

"People told me things about you… But I didn't believe it… until I saw it." John said with a serious face. "I saw you… with your so called boyfriend. And I couldn't believe it." He approached Sam with a threatening look.

Sam stepped back. "Dad-."

"It doesn't matter. We'll leave the town and you'll never see that guy again!" The last words came out almost in a scream.

"I…I'm not going." Sam said a bit scared.

"You'll do as I say." He grabbed Sam by his arm.

"Dad, let me go." Sam managed to free himself. But when he was about to get out by the door, John grabbed him again and punched him in the face. "This isn't over." John screamed.

Sam passed his hand by his nose; he was bleeding. More than hurt, he was surprised. His father may have been aggressive sometimes… but he never hit him. Well, rarely. Sam remembered, when he was 10, his dad hit him hard. He didn't remember why, but if Dean hadn't appeared and protected him he could have had some fractures. Unfortunately, Dean wasn't at home that night.

"I won't let you turn into a freak." John pushed Sam against the wall.

"This is who I am. Sorry dad, but you can't change me." Sam tried to sound confident although he was frightened.

"We'll see if you say the same when I finish." John started to punch him again.

Sam tried to escape but with no success. He was already a bit dizzy, so instead to trying to get away, he started to protect himself.

Sam tasted his own blood, he had also several cuts on his face where blood ran down his face. "Stop."

But John didn't care and punched Sam hard in his stomach, making him fell on the ground. Sam spilled his hot red blood as he felt the agonizing pain.

"You're not normal." With no mercy John kept the torture and kicked him in the abdomen. "You're an abomination!" And kicked him again in the chest.

"Dad, stop please." Sam begged in pain.

"You're not my son. You let me down." John shouted out loud and kept kicking him.

This time Sam thought he had gotten a broken rib. He wanted to cry for help but he couldn't. He wished Dean came home, but that was very unlikely. Sam had to find a way to get away but pain invaded his mind and left no space for thinking.

"You betrayed your family!" John shouted and stopped for a moment.

Sam was able to focus a little and saw a baseball bat under the bed, so he crawled a bit to grab the bat. John thought he was trying to get up and kicked him again. Sam was laid on his back, facing his father who seemed the devil had got into him.

"Your mother would be ashamed of you." That statement hurt Sam as much as the punches and kicks.

Rage started to grow in Sam's heart and adrenaline came into his system. With a quick movement Sam held the bat and hit on John's legs with all strength he had at the time.

John fell on his knees on the floor. "You bastard…"

Sam got up with effort. Before his father could get up again Sam ran, he got out the house staggering with hands on his belly.

The night was dark and silent. The only thing illuminated the night were the few street lamps that worked. There were no one on the street and the only sound that he heard was the sound of the rain.

Sam stepped away from the house in case his father would come after him. At first he walked in a fast step but then his body started to hurt bad so he slowed down. The night was cold and Sam's clothes were becoming wet because of the rain.

The effect of the adrenaline began to disappear. Sam felt tired and hurt. The wind that started didn't help either.

Sam needed to find a dry place to stay. He had been walking with no direction and he couldn't call anyone for help.

It started to rain more and the wind became stronger. The water washed the blood on his face just like the rest of his body and the wind was working against him. Soon after, Sam was trembling with cold.

The pain was killing him, so he had to find a place to sit and rest. As all dried places he knew were far away, he sat under a tree close to the town's playground. At least he was a bit protected from the rain.

Sam felt his chest burning, especially when he inhaled, although his body was freezing. He had thought he had a broken rib, but now he was sure he hadn't, or else he wouldn't have been able to move and walk this far.

He put his arms around his chest to keep himself warm. He wanted to call someone for help but he had left his phone at home, in his room. His only hope was Dean, if Dean got home earlier, he would look for him when he noticed Sam wasn't at home. But Dean still might not find him. It was depressing and scary to think no one would find him…

Sam needed to think about good things. Castiel was the first think that popped into his head. Thinking about Castiel and the moments they spend together warmed Sam's heart and gave him comfort and mental peace. He just wished to be in Castiel company again...


	22. I will try to fix you

Chapter 22: I will try to fix you

Castiel woke up in panic. He wasn't sure why, but he knew something bad had happened, something terrible. And the sound of Sam's voice calling for help echoed in his head.

Castiel couldn't ignore the burning pain he felt in his chest. So he had to know if Sam was okay. Castiel called him, but no one answered. So he went after him. He dressed himself quickly and took Gabriel's car. His brother wouldn't be very happy about it if he knew… but he didn't have to know.

Castiel wasn't sure where he was going, he just followed his instinct. Instead of that strange feeling growing; it faded as Castiel got near Sam. He didn't know how he unconsciously knew where Sam was, it wasn't normal and that freaked Castiel out a bit. But that wasn't important right now…

Castiel saw a shape that seemed to be a person under a tree. He couldn't tell for sure because of the rain, but it kind of looked like Sam. Castiel stopped and step out the car.

Sam looked unconscious. "Oh my god." Castiel noticed the bruises that Sam had.

Castiel kneel down next to his boyfriend. "Sam." He called as he reached Sam's face with both hands.

Sam looked at him. "Cas…" He said in a low voice. He grabbed Castiel's trench coat with trembling hands, in fact, all his body shivered.

Castiel passed his hands to Sam's cold and wet arms. "You're freezing." He said with a scared voice.

Castiel didn't know what had happened or why Sam was there, but there wasn't time for that. Right now he needed to take him to some place warm. "Come on; let's get you out of here." He helped Sam to get up. He could barely walk, he looked tired and Castiel was sure something was hurting him. So Castiel put Sam's arm around his neck and a hand on Sam's hip and helped him to get to the car.

Castiel found a blanket on the backseat of Gabriel's car and put it over Sam to keep him warm. Castiel didn't know what else to do. Sam was worst that he thought and that scared him a bit. "I take you to a hospital." As he still wrapped Sam in the blanket.

"No…" Sam asked.

"Sam, you can be seriously injured."

"I'll be fine… Just don't take to hospital. Please." Sam said in a weak voice.

Castiel exhaled. "Ok. I take you to my house then." He kissed Sam's forehead.

Castiel drove to his home. He let Gabriel's car in the garage and he helped Sam to walk to his room.

"We need to get your clothes off." Castiel started to take off Sam's jeans.

While Sam was shaking with cold, Castiel took off his sweatshirt. Although Sam still was freezing, he felt the place warmer when he got rid of soaked clothes.

Castiel noticed the bruises on Sam's body. First Castiel was in shock; he didn't know it was so bad. But then he was broken hearted by the thought of how much Sam suffered and still was suffering.

"What happened? Who did this to you?" Castiel asked worried.

"My dad was drunk…"

"Your dad did this to you?" Castiel couldn't believe how a father could beat up his own son. "I'm sorry." He said looking down. Sam looked at him confused. "You only went to talk to him because of me… It's my fault. You did it for me…"

"For you… I would do it again, if that meant we could be together with no one bothering us." Sam reached his boyfriend's hot lips. Castiel felt the taste of Sam's blood that came from a cut he had on his lip. He felt a thermal shock when Sam's freezing hands touched his chest, even over his pyjama. Castiel quickly hugged him.

After a while, "Come. Lay down on the bed." Castiel took his hand and leaded him to the bed. Sam felt the bed still a bit warm.

Castiel took off his pyjama that was partially wet and he lay down next to Sam. He got closer and cuddled Sam tight into is arms, Sam needed all the heat he could get from his warm body. Castiel caressed Sam's hair until he stopped shaking. As he got comfortable, Sam soon fell asleep, and so did Castiel.

In the next day Michael found odd Castiel still be sleeping at almost lunch time. So he decided to go wake him up.

"Castiel!" Michael shouted when he saw his brother sleeping with another boy.

Sam and Castiel woke up immediately, scared. "Michael." Castiel said.

"What's going on here?" Michael asked seriously.

Castiel sat on the bed and Michael noticed his brother was naked. It wasn't hard to imagine what had happened.

"Get dressed and meet me downstairs. We need to talk." After that he got out of the room and closed the door forcefully.

"Shit." Castiel got out of the bed and put some jeans and a sweatshirt.

Sam was still lying on the bed. Castiel walked over him. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." Sam lied. In fact, his body ached from last night's beat up. But he didn't want to worry Castiel.

"I thought you knew me better… You can't lie to me, Sam."

"It's just…the bruises hurt." He partially confessed.

"We'll take care about that later, ok?"

Sam nodded. Before Castiel leave to talk to his brother, Sam asked "You want me to go with you?"

"No. You stay here. Try to rest a bit more." Castiel kissed him tenderly. "I'll be right back." And so he left.

Michael was waiting for him in the living room. He seemed calmer that before but he still looked mad.

"I already knew you were gay… But this, I can't accept." Michael said.

"How did you know?" Castiel asked confused.

Michael could help but smile a bit. "You just confirmed it." Castiel hated when Michael was able to get the truth out of him. Michael had some skills he had acquired as lawyer. "I may not be much time at home but I'm not dumb." He pointed. "And don't change the subject, Castiel. You can't bring some guy, I don't even know, to sleep with you and god knows what else."

"That's not what you're thinking." Castiel began to explain.

"No? So that guy isn't your boyfriend? That's even worse."

"He is my boyfriend, but we didn't…"

"Please don't be mad at Cas." Sam said to Michael. "It was my fault." Sam was at the middle of the stairs, dressed with his clothes already dry.

"Sam" Castiel approached the stairs.

Sam walked down the stairs slowly. Eventually he let a hand come against his chest that hurt him. Michael noticed that Sam wasn't alright.

"I told you to stay in bed." Castiel told Sam when he got downstairs.

"I couldn't leave you here alone. If your brother has something to say he should say it to me too." Sam responded him in private. But Michael still heard it.

Castiel kissed him in the cheek not to shock his brother already. He held Sam by the hand and took him to the sofa in front of Michael.

"Michael, this is Sam." Castiel said.

"You say it's your fault…" Michael said towards Sam.

"Yes, sir." Sam answered. "Cas was just trying to help me."

Michael noticed the bruises Sam had on his face. He figured Sam should have others on his body too.

"What happened to you?" Michael asked in a severe but also concerned tone.

"I had a talk like this one last night. My dad found out about me and Cas, and… Let's just say he wasn't very happy about it."

Michael knew cases of parents that hit on their kids. Most of them get fatal, for the kids or the parents, when the kids tried to protect themselves. "What did you do?" Michael asked.

"I ran. I ran until I couldn't move. The rain didn't help." Sam explained.

"So how did you end up here?"

"I felt Sam was hurt. I brought him here." Castiel explained his brother. "He was freezing. He entered in a hypothermic state… He needed to be warmed up. That's why we were naked in bed. Then we fell asleep."

"Oh." Michael understood what had happened. "Why didn't you tell me you were dating someone?" He asked Castiel.

"Because I knew you would react like this. I knew you would freak out."

"I reacted like any person would if it didn't have any clue of what was going on."

"And I was afraid you wouldn't approve." Castiel conclude.

"And I don't." Michael clarified by Castiel's surprise. "I mean, how long do you know each other? How you met?"

"Sam came to my school when classes started again." Castiel didn't talk about the time he ran away. It was better if Michael didn't know.

"And that was like… What? Two months ago? Maybe less."

Castiel hadn't notice he had been with Sam for two months already.

"You think that you had time to know each other? Don't you think you rushed things a bit?" Then Michael turned to Castiel. "You should be focused on school. This year is almost ending. You'll have time for these things later. You have a whole life ahead…"

"Huh." Sam made a disapproval smirk. "My brother used to say to me the same thing. When there was something I wanted to do, and my dad didn't let me… my brother used to say 'you'll have time for that when you're older'. But that's all crap." Sam swallowed saliva. "Before I came to town, I had serious accident. I almost died. When I got conscious the only thing I thought about were the things I didn't do. And I promised myself that I was going do the things I wanted to do, before it's too late. Because we may don't have 'a whole life ahead'. I escaped this time, but I might don't have another chance."

Michael didn't have an answer to that.

Seconds later they heard someone coming in the house. Gabriel was coming for lunch before he goes back to the hospital.

"Hello, family." Gabriel said at the door. From where he was he only saw Michael and Castiel.

Michael turned to him. He looked unusually serious. "What's wrong?" Gabriel asked as he approached his brothers.

"Oh, hi Sam." Gabriel greeted when he saw the boy. By Sam and Castiel's faces, looked like Michael had been scolding at them. He figured Michael had probably found out about their relation.

"How do you know him?" Michael asked curious.

Gabriel was about to say 'from the hospital'. It wasn't entirely a lie, but then he wondered what Castiel had told him.

"I..." He looked at his younger brother who was nodding no, begging him not to tell anything.

"You know about their relation, don't you?" Michael guessed.

"Yeah, I know. So what?" Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"So how could you let them be?"

"I only have two hours for lunch. We better get started." Gabriel changed the subject as he walked to the kitchen followed by Michael.

"You're staying for lunch." Gabriel told Sam.

"I..."Sam wasn't sure if that was a good idea.

"It wasn't a question."Gabriel said right before leaving the sitting room.

"It could've been worse." Castiel exhaled. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. I think the bruises don't hurt so much when I'm sitting." Sam explained. "And thanks. For coming rescue me last night."

"Whenever you need, I'll be there." Castiel kissed him passionately.

"Hey, no saliva exchange in the sitting room." Lucifer warned.

Castiel startled, not expecting his brother's appearance. "Lucifer." _Not you too... _Castiel thought. "What do you want?"

"Easy." Lucifer raised his hands. "As I'm very polite, I came greeting the visit."

_Yeah, right. _Castiel was looking at him suspiciously.

"Ok, I just wanted to congratulate him." Lucifer said to his brother.

"Me? Why?" Sam asked confused.

"I heard the speech you gave to Michael. And I want to congratulate you because no one ever made Michael shut up. You kicked his ass. Did you saw his face?" He looked at both of them. "He didn't even have an answer." Lucifer said amused. "Michael and I, we are always fighting. And I love to make him eat his own words. But you...you're even better than me." Lucifer held his hand to Sam, and Sam shook his hand reluctantly. "You rock." He said before he leaves.

"That was...unexpected." Castiel said incredulous.

"I would say weird." Sam corrected.

* * *

"So what do you wanna make? I was thinking about lasagne." Gabriel said as Michael got in the kitchen.

"You're kidding..." It was unbelievable how Gabriel ignored the problems that relation could bring.

"You're right, there's no time. To make a good lasagne it had to be on oven 45 minutes."

"Stop changing subject. Can we talk about this seriously?" Michael almost screamed. "How can you not see what's happening?"

"And what's that?"

"Castiel isn't a regular kid. He has been through a lot by mom and dad's death. Not to mention Jimmy's. He's a traumatized kid."

"Says the crazy, so called, psychologist you took him last time. Besides, that was years ago. Cassie is better now."

"Really? Because last year he still believed Jimmy was alive." Since the accident Castiel had believed Jimmy was alive. Michael thought the fact that Jimmy's body hadn't been found, increased Castiel hopes. "He said he felt Sam was hurt. He used to say that about Jimmy too, when they were kids. And then after the accident, he used to say he felt Jimmy was alright. That he was alive."

"Yeah, I remember that." Castiel used to say that mostly to him, because no one else cared about it or even listened him. Sometimes Castiel looked so desperate that Gabriel considered that what his brother was telling him was true. But Gabriel had seen the river the day of the accident. There was no way someone had survived to the fury of the water.

"Castiel got attached to that boy." Michael continued.

"And why is that a bad thing?"

"How long do you think their relationship is going to last? It won't last forever. There's no such thing as undying love. Sooner or later they'll break up and Castiel will be mess." Michael explained.

"You love with your head and not with your heart, that's why you'll never get a girlfriend, bro."

"Loving with the heart hurts."

Gabriel grabbed a wooden spoon and held it like it was a microphone. "_I'd rather feel pain that nothing at all._" He sang a bit of Pain, a Three Days Grace's song. Michael rolled his eyes. Then Gabriel got serious again. "About Castiel... I think you underestimate our little brother. If they break up, Cassie will get over him with time."

"You think so?" Michael wasn't convinced.

"Sam seems to be a good boy. Just don't get between them." Gabriel asked. "I know you're only trying to protect Cassie, but you have to let him live his life."

Michael thought about what his brother had said while he cooked lunch.


	23. What hurts the most

Chapter 23: What hurts the most

The lunch was awkwardly silent. Castiel asked Gabriel to check Sam's bruises before he get back to work. After a talk and a lot kisses Sam agreed. They went to Castiel's room.

"Oh, looks like you had a big fight." Gabriel commented when Sam took off his sweatshirt. "Lay down." He ordered.

Sam lied on the bed. Gabriel started touching Sam's chest looking for internal injuries. Sam felt awkward.

"What were you and Michael talking about in the kitchen?" Castiel asked.

"I didn't tell him about Sam's accident, if is that's what you want to know." Gabriel told him. "I promised I wouldn't."

"Thanks. The story had to check with what I told him."

"You owe me one. I mean another one." Gabriel had helped him several times. "I think I better start making a list."

"Then you'll have to count one more." Gabriel looked at him. "I took your car to pick up Sam."

"You took my Snow White?" Gabriel asked in shock. "I knew she wasn't where I had left her. If you broke anything…"

"It doesn't even have a scratch." Castiel assured him.

"I know I taught you to drive, but it wasn't for you go stealing her. You don't even have a license."

"It was an emergency." Castiel excused himself.

"Since when you became like me? I thought I was the only reckless in the family."

Gabriel finished examining Sam. "You're fine. At least internally." He told Sam. "But I guess you have pain, don't you?"

"Yeah, a bit."

"Ok. Cassie, give him your ointment twice a day." Gabriel stopped for a second. "Wow, that came out a lot dirtier than I thought." He told to his brother. "Anyway, you should rest a bit too." He told Sam before he leaves.

Castiel went to grab the ointment at the bathroom. When he got back Sam was sitting on the bed. He knelt on the bed close to Sam, and then he sat on Sam's lap.

"What is that for?" Sam asked pointing at the tube.

"It'll help to heal the bruises and fade them. And it also diminishes the pain."

Castiel took a bit of the gel and applied it on Sam's chest.

"Ah. It's cold." Sam complained.

"Sorry princess." Castiel joked. Sam momentarily smirked.

Sam remembered the painful events of last night as Castiel passed his hands over Sam's bruises, applying the gel. It had been a bad idea to talk to his father, especially drunk as he was. He mentally relived every moment of the beating. He couldn't get rid of those images or the pain he felt and still was feeling. He got frustrated, he had had times to run before it was too late… but at the time he only as able to react when he was already too hurt.

"Sam" Castiel called noticing his boyfriend distracted. But Sam didn't react. "Sam."

His father's words echoed in Sam's head. They were so mean… Especially the last ones.

"Hey, baby." Castiel tried again. Sam woke from his daily dream. "Are you ok?"

Sam looked at him. "You never called me baby before." Sam said, not answering the question.

"I think I should say it more often, to catch your attention." Castiel smiled. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing…" He said unconsciously. Then he remembered Castiel probably knew he was lying. "It's just… I can't forget what my dad did to me." He looked at his boyfriend. "It's not just what he did… It's what he said too."

"Sam…" Castiel said sadly.

"I took all that beating… So why it's what he said that hurts the most?" Castiel saw angry in Sam's eyes.

"Because the pain will fade, and the bruises will disappear… but the words can be in your mind forever." He said looking into Sam's eyes. "It'll hurt every time you think about it, so don't." Castiel asked.

"I can't forget this, Cas."

"What did he tell you?"

"Basically he told I was my family's disgrace." He said vaguely. "He…he called me abomination. He said my mom would be ashamed of me…" Castiel saw tears on Sam's eyes waiting to fall.

"That's not true." Castiel assured him. He put a hand on Sam's neck, making his boyfriend look at him. Tears rolled down Sam's face. "Sam, you are a wonderful person, and I'm not saying this because I love you. You're kind, smart. And I'm sure your mother would be very proud of you."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I got to believe my parents would be proud of me too." He confessed, looking down. "So don't think about it, ok?"

"I don't know if I can… It keeps playing in my head over and over." Sam said sadly and frustrated.

"Yes, you can. I help you."

"How-" Castiel stopped him from finishing the sentence by kissing him.

Castiel was right. During the kiss all those nasty images faded. Love was stronger than pain. Castiel's hands were around Sam's neck. Sam put his hands on Castiel's legs and pulled him closer. Sam's hands passed to Castiel's back., and they stood there making out.

* * *

Castiel had left Sam resting in his bed. Michael called him for no other reason but to keep him out of the room while Sam was there.

At middle of the afternoon they heard someone knocking on the door frenetically. Michael went to open it.

"Where's my brother?" Dean asked loudly as he entered in the house.

"Who are you?" Michael asked.

"I know he's here." Dean said looking for Sam.

"You're crazy. Get out of my house." Michael ordered and tried pushed Dean out of the door.

"Wait." Castiel said, approaching them. "That's ok. That's Dean. Sam's brother." He said to Michael.

"Where is he?" Dean asked Castiel with an intimidate look. But Castiel could see he was worried.

"Dean, take it easy. Sam's fine." Castiel assured him. "And quiet down. He's resting."

"Where is my brother?" Dean asked against slowly.

"Dean?" Sam appeared on top of the stairs still sleepy.

Dean ran towards his brother. "Sammy", and hugged him. "I came home and you weren't there. I looked for you everywhere. What happened?"

"Dad…Dad beat me." Sam said for short the story.

"You're ok?" Dean asked him.

"I am now. I just have a few bruises."

"That bastard…" Dean said angrily. "Come on, let's go." He told Sam.

"Dean… Dad is still at home." Sam half asked half stated.

"He should be. If he's not, I'll find him and I'll beat the crap out of him."

Sam got scared by the idea of getting back home, of facing his father again, when not even a day had passed since the beat up. "I don't want to go back in there." Sam told him.

"What you're talking about? We got to go home."

Castiel approached them. "Sam can stay here while you go 'talk' to your dad." He suggested.

"No freaking way." Dean shouted. "And who asked you? This is none of your business."

"Actually, it is. If it wasn't him, I could have been so much worse… He took me here. He took care of me." Sam explained.

"I don't even want to know what that means." Dean said, remembering he had caught them making out half naked. "It doesn't matter. I'm not leaving you here. That guy shoved me." He pointed at Michael. "He tried to kick me out. Who tells me that he won't do that to Sam? He clearly doesn't like him." He told to Castiel.

"He likes Sam as much as you like me. But he respects Sam. He never _yelled_ at Sam. And my brother won't do anything to him, because I won't let him." Sam looked so scared that Castiel had to make him stay.

Dean calmed down for a second. He turned to Sam. "Is this what you want? You want to stay here?"

"I can't face dad right now." Sam said with a please-don't-make-me look.

"Fine." And then Dean left, still a bit upset.

* * *

Castiel decided to watch a movie to distract Sam. Michael joined them. At first to make sure they weren't making out. But then he actually enjoyed the movie and didn't care about what the teens were doing. During the film Michael and Sam talked some times. He started to think that Sam was a bad kid after all.

When Gabriel and Lucifer came home they decide to play Mario Karts on Wii and Sam and Castiel joined them. Sam wasn't sure if he wanted to play, he had never played it. But then he found it fun.

After some time they went to dinner. It wasn't as awkward as the lunch. Sam actually had a good time. Shortly after Sam heard the characteristic sound of the Impala. Sam went outside to meet his brother.

"Did you found dad?" Sam asked while Dean stepped out the car.

"Yeah."

"What happened?" Sam asked worried.

"I told him some things… He didn't like it. So he tried to hit me… But, I know some moves too." Dean said proudly. "I made him pay for everything he did to you... And so he ran, like a coward."

"Dad left?" Sam asked incredulous.

"Yes. He got away of our lives… And I hope he never comes back, for his sake."

Sam couldn't believe it. After all those years, he had dreamed with this day… But he didn't have planed it to be this way. Still, he felt freer.

"Dad should have left the town by now… and we should leave too." Dean concluded.

"What? No."

"Dad's gone. I thought that's what you wanted, Sam."

"It is. But why do we have to leave?"

"It's all set for us to leave. Dad took you out of the school. I left my job... There's nothing for us here."

Sam nodded no. "No."

"I don't believe you still want to stay. All this because of that cook-sucker boyfriend of yours." Dean said angry.

"Dean!" Sam warned him not to talk about Castiel that way.

"That's why you wanna stay." Dean shouted.

"And that's why you want to leave." He shouted back.

"You know what? Dad was right. You didn't want him to go away. You want to get rid of your family."

"No. That's not true." Sam contradicted him.

"No? Then let's go" Dean said testing his brother.

Sam couldn't do or say anything. He just stood looking at Dean.

"It's time to choose a side, Sam. It's me… or him!" He said screaming.

"No. Dean, how can you- you don't have the right to ask me that…" Tears started to burn Sam's eyes.

"I'm going, tomorrow. You can come with me or you can stay here. And don't worry, because I won't came back to bother you."

Sam wanted say something but he couldn't. The words didn't come out. But he also didn't know what to say. He was hurt by his brother words. The only thing he was able to do was to let the tears fall.

"I'll be back tomorrow to know of your decision." With a mad, angry and disappointed look Dean left.

Sam stood in the cold dark night for a moment. Only then he entered in the house. Castiel and his brothers were waiting for him. Sam figured they might have heard the whole conversation. Sam shut the door and walked in looking down, to avoid all the looks on him.

Castiel walked to Sam and hugged him tight. Sam hugged him back angrily and buried his face on his boyfriend shoulder.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review.**

**I was thinking about put some Dean/Gabriel. I'd like to know what you think.**


	24. Denial

Chapter 24: Denial

Sam passed the night stressed and unusually quiet. Castiel took him to his room and tried to calm him down.

"Don't think about it." Castiel told him as he caressed Sam's hair. "Try to rest."

But Sam only thought of what he was going to do. He had to choose; or Castiel, the love of this life; or Dean, his brother, his only family now. And the one he didn't choose, Sam will probably never see him again.

* * *

Gabriel went to a bar. He saw a guy at the balcony drinking; he had a brown spiky hair, jeans and a leather jacket. A sexy guy Gabriel thought.

Gabriel had seen him in the bar other nights. Sometimes he stood in a corner, watching the guy. But he didn't stay longer, 15 minutes after he get in, he left with a girl, sometimes two. And that night there were girls flirting him like usually, but unlike the other nights the guy sent them away. So Gabriel made his move.

"You shouldn't let them get away. I've heard they're amazing." Gabriel said when he sat next to the guy.

The guy looked at him. Then to the girls that were leaving. "I don't doubt that."

"I've noticed you're usually in good company…"

"Yeah, well I'm not in the mood tonight." He finished his drink and ordered another whisky.

"Don't tell me your girlfriend found out…"Gabriel guessed.

"No. She doesn't bother me." The guy turned to Gabriel. "Because I don't have a girlfriend."

"Well, whatever is your problem, drinking won't solve it."

"Who says I got a problem?"

"I do. You entered in the bar like 20 minutes ago and you still haven't stopped drinking."

"Who are you? My doctor?"

"Close, I'm a nurse actually." Gabriel said.

The guy looked at Gabriel from up to bottom. He pictured him with a white tunic and with nothing under that. _I think I drank too much. _He thought and shook his head to make the mental image disappear.

"I'm Gabriel by the way." He held his hand.

The guy shook his hand. "I'm Dean."

Gabriel stood in shock but tried not to show it. _Dean? The Sam's brother Dean? _He figured there shouldn't be many Deans in town. So it had to be him. _Great. Fucking great. Lucifer always said I had good taste in picking them… Why? Why I only like jerks? _Gabriel remembered the talk Sam and Dean had. Then Dean took off his jacket, the alcohol was making effect. Dean stood in t-shirt, showing his muscled arms. _Because jerks are hot._

"What?" Dean asked when he noticed Gabriel staring at him.

"Nothing." Gabriel gestured opening his arms, and accidentally knocked over his bottle of beer that was on the balcony. Fortunately the bottle was empty but it rolled over the balcony. Gabriel tried to catch it, but he missed. He almost lied down on the balcony and when the bottle was almost falling he finally catch it.

Gabriel turned to Dean who looked amused, like he was trying not to laugh. "Something funny, Dean?"Gabriel asked. "Do I look like a clown to you?"

"You look more like a contortionist." Dean said laughing. "A bad contortionist."

"I grabbed the bottle." Gabriel pointed.

"Did you…?" Dean knocked the bottle on purpose and this time it fell on the ground and broke. The bartender looked at them. They controlled not to laugh. Gabriel apologized while the bartender swept the broken glass.

Dean took the opportunity and ordered another whisky. "You want one too?" He asked Gabriel.

"No. If I'm a disaster when I'm sober, you don't want to see when I'm drunk. It would be a chaos."

"Well, there's a show I'd like to see." Dean said smiling.

"Maybe another time."

They stood there talking and laughing at stupid jokes. It was more the drink than the jokes itself. Or maybe both, It didn't matter, Dean was having a good time. When he entered the bar, angry and depressed, the last thing he expected was that he was going to laugh. Laugh like he didn't laugh in a long time.

At the middle of the conversation Gabriel convinced Dean not to drink more. Some time later Dean glanced to the entrance of the bar. "You've got to be kidding me." He said recognizing who had just got in.

Gabriel looked to see who it was. "Cassie?"

Castiel approached them, upset. He was surprised to see Gabriel. "Gabe."

"Good to know you're all introduced." Dean commented.

"He's my brother." Gabriel explained.

Dean didn't expect that. _It doesn't change anything._ "What do you want?" He asked hostility.

"I want to talk to you, you jerk." Castiel said. "Outside." He ordered.

Dean was about to complain, but come on… what could Castiel do to him? All three left the bar and went to an alley.

"So you're here to tell me Sam chose you, queer?" Dean asked Castiel.

"No. You know why? Because he doesn't even talk to me. Not since you left." He said angry and sad at the same time. "I hope you're happy."Castiel got nervous. He came closer to Dean in a way of intimidating him. "I could kill you, you stupid bastard!" He said as his eyes fill with tears.

"Cas. Cassie." Gabriel called touching his brother's shoulder to stop him from doing something bad. Castiel wasn't a violent boy, but he had never seen his brother like that. Castiel calmed down a bit.

"Are you done?" Dean asked Castiel coldly, ignoring the boy's feelings.

"No! So you shut up!" Castiel felt a knot in his throat, but he swallowed it down before he continues. "I know your game. For you is just a game, isn't it? A competition between you and me. And Sam is jury." He said with a mad look. "You don't like me, and you're hoping he chooses you, so he dumps me. That's your move, isn't it?" Castiel paused. "I hope it is. Because if it isn't, then you're the worst brother in the world." Then he continued his speech. "This is a way of you affect and hurt me. But let me tell you this… The only one you're hurting is Sam." Castiel felt better in telling everything he felt. "So, like I said… I hope you're happy." Castiel let a tear roll down his face.

"Tell me you don't want to win." Dean said after a while.

"You know the difference between you and me? I'm okay with whoever Sam chooses. I love him, I understand him and I'll support his decision. Will you?"

Dean stood quiet with an unemotional face, like he hadn't heard what Castiel told him or he simply didn't care.

"Now I'm done." Castiel told Dean before he turned to leave.

"Come on, I take you home." Gabriel said.

"No. I go alone." Castiel stopped for a minute. "I need a fresh air."

Gabriel didn't thought it was a good idea, but he agreed Castiel needed some time alone. "Ok." Gabriel nodded. "Call me if you change your mind."

And so Castiel went.

Gabriel stood thinking about Castiel's theory for Dean's actions - which Dean indirectly agreed a bit - but he had a different theory. So when Dean returned to the bar Gabriel went after him.

Dean finished the drink Gabriel had stopped him from taking. He paid the drinks, grabbed his jacket and left.

"Where are you going?" Gabriel asked.

"None of you damn business." He said going in direction of the Impala.

Dean was being an asshole to him now that he found out he was Castiel's brother. "You're in no conditions to drive."

"Why do you care?"

"Look, I just don't wanna see your face in the obituary's section of tomorrow's newspaper. So stop being an asshole and get in the car."

"No way you're gonna drive my baby." Dean tried to impose but he was a little dizzy and he staggered.

"Dean Winchester, you are really stubborn." Gabriel told him. "But I am more." He smirked and took the keys of the Impala from Dean's hand.

Dean was too drunk and too dizzy to fight so he gave in and let Gabriel take him home.

The trip went silent but it wasn't long either, it was good to both calm down. Gabriel stopped the car in front of the house. Dean got out the car and walked to the door of the house, a bit dizzy. Gabriel opened the door and tried to help Dean walking without falling.

"Let me go. I'm fine." Dean said taking his arm from Gabriel's hand.

Dean gave more a few steps before he loses his balance. Gabriel grabbed him before he fell. Inadvertently he pushed Dean against the wall so he had some support. "Yeah, I can see that."

Only then Dean noticed in what position they were. Dean was trapped between the wall and Gabriel, who was holding him by the waist. And he had a hand on Gabriel's shoulder. Dean could feel the soft tips of Gabriel's hair touching his hand.

Gabriel was in his personal space, staring at Dean with his sweet honey eyes. And that made Dean's heart beat faster. At first he thought it was because of the drinks, but the alcohol make your heart beat slower…not faster. They weren't like that for a long time, but that tension was making Dean uncomfortable. So he, unconsciously and shyly, leaned forward. Before he had time to regret it, Gabriel closed the distance between them with a kiss.

Gabriel felt Dean's soft lips, just like he had imagined... Gabriel pressed his tongue against Dean's mouth. He was expecting at any moment to Dean pushing him away, but Dean's mind shut down and he let his body instincts do the work. As Dean played along, Gabriel invaded his mouth. He felt Dean's body shiver, like it was his first time. Gabriel was sure Dean would've done the same with some girl… but maybe never with a guy.

Dean felt the hot tongue meet his own. It was like an electric shock, and Dean couldn't let go of it. Gabriel felt the taste of alcohol in Dean's mouth.

After a while Gabriel pulled back. They were breathing hard. Dean opened his eyes and finally his mind started to work of what the hell had just happened. He looked at Gabriel who was with a smile in his lips. Gabriel leaned forward for another round.

"Don't!" Dean said.

"Dean…" Gabriel started.

Dean shook his head. "Don't. Just…" He noticed Gabriel was still holding him. "Let go of me!" He screamed and got away from Gabriel.

Gabriel noticed Dean tense and probably he was freaking out. "Dean, calm down."

"Get out of here, you sicko." Dean said in a way of threatening.

"So this is your problem… You like men. You probably have to hide it, because of your father. And you tried to change. But let me tell something… you can't change who you are, Dean. And you're gay."

"No, I'm not. I'm not like you."

"No?" Gabriel asked, getting closer to Dean. "Then tell me you didn't feel anything when I kissed you." He said looking into Dean's eyes.

Dean didn't say anything for a second and when he was about to answer, Gabriel cut him off. "Don't say anything. I know you're gonna lie to me." He breathed in and out. "Look… You're in denial, I get it. But you don't have to hide and lie, especially to yourself. Just assume who you are, and don't worry about what people will say." Gabriel advised him.

"You talk like you know me… but you don't."

"I know what is like to be in your place. I've been there too. You see two guys together in the street and you wish you were like that. And that's one of the reasons why you want to leave. You can't stand see our brothers together. And you're jealous of Sam. Because he found someone that loves him, when you probably never had the chance."

"Come on, it's not like they're gonna live happily ever after. Someday Castiel will make Sam suffer, I know it." Dean changed the subject about him.

"If you believe in that, wait for them to break up. And then you can leave the town." Gabriel told him.

"So that's your game. You came talk to me at the bar, you drive me home… just to mess with my head and convince me not to go. I bet your brother asked you to do it."

"No…" Gabriel tried to explain.

"Just get the hell out of here!" Dean screamed with a true mad look.

"I didn't know it was you at the bar. And when you introduced yourself, I didn't know what to do. I mean, Cassie doesn't say good things about you, and your talk with Sam didn't help. But I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. I tried to help you and I gave you a chance to show me that you're not a total dick… And you blew it." Gabriel stepped toward the door. "So, I go. My brother's a mess and I should be with him… instead of with you. So, take care, you stupid son of a bitch." And Gabriel left.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**The question remains: Who Sam is going to choose? I'd like to know what you think...**


	25. Goodbye my lover

Chapter 25: Goodbye my lover

Castiel got home at 3 am. It was late, especially because it was Monday and he had school that day. But it didn't matter to him; he could miss classes for one day. What mattered to him was Sam. Castiel got upstairs and he was glad to see Sam sleeping peacefully. After hours trying to make him relax and fall asleep. Castiel lay down next to his boyfriend carefully, not to wake him up.

Sometime after Gabriel came home. He checked Sam and Castiel, who were asleep. Then he went to his room and lay on the bed. Dean invaded his mind, how he was stupid and Gabriel felt like he wanted to hit him. But he couldn't forget the kiss. Gabriel shook the thought away. But he still felt the taste of Dean's mouth.

* * *

At the morning, when Castiel woke up, he felt the miss of Sam's embrace. He opened his eyes and Sam wasn't there. He heard someone knocking on the door. _Dean. _Castiel quickly got downstairs.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked him.

Castiel searched Sam with his eyes, in the living room. "I…"

Then Sam appeared, coming out of the kitchen.

"Sam…" Castiel could see he wasn't alright.

Sam got near them and looked at Dean. "Ok, you won. I go with you." He said sadly.

Castiel felt his heart stop for a moment. If the couch wasn't behind him, he was sure he had fallen back.

Dean was surprised too. But still, he let a prideful smirk show in his lips.

Sam looked at Castiel in shame. He got close to him. "I'm sorry." He said sobbing.

Castiel reached Sam's face with his hand. "It's ok. I understand." Castiel said almost crying. Sam crushed him against his chest in despair. Only then Castiel cried.

As Sam and Castiel were saying goodbye, Lucifer and Gabriel joined Michael in the hall, wondering what was happening. Then Gabriel saw Dean, who looked meanly happy. Dean looked at him and he showed a disappointed look. But Dean ignored it.

Sam raised Castiel's head, making him look at him. Seeing Castiel break in tears Sam kissed him passionately. The tears instantly stopped.

"I want you to have this…" Sam said taking off his necklace with the silver lizard.

"No. I can't. Your mother gave it to you…"

"My mom said it decreases someone's miss. And she said I should give it to someone that would miss me… Please take it."

"Ok." Castiel nodded.

Sam put the necklace on Castiel's neck. "And promise me something…"

"Anything you wish."

"Promise me that you won't do something stupid because of me."

"What do you mean?"Castiel didn't understand was he meant.

"I mean a depressive state in which you may die." Sam said worried. "I understand… I'll miss you too, a lot. But just don't…"

"Sam, what happened before was different. I thought you were dead."

"Promise me." Sam insisted, almost begged.

"Ok, I promise."

"Sam. We gotta go." Dean said.

"Just a minute." Sam let go of Castiel and turned in his brothers' direction.

"Thanks, for letting me stay here." He told Michael.

Michael had foreseen the day when Sam would dump his brother, but this was different and he didn't blame Sam. "You're welcome." And Michael nodded with a small smile.

"Goodbye, Lucifer." Sam said turning to him.

"Now that I was starting to like you… Who's gonna make Mike shut up, now?"

Sam smiled a bit. "I think you'll do that."

"Can I ask you something?" Sam asked Gabriel.

"Sure."

"Take care of him…" Sam looked slightly at Castiel.

"You didn't need to ask. I'll always look after little Cassie…"

"Thanks, anyway."

"Take care of yourself, kiddo."

Sam nodded.

Before he leaves Sam kissed Castiel tenderly one last time. Castiel hold Sam's hands, not wanting him to go. As Sam stepped away Castiel slowly let go of his hand. Castiel's heart broke completely when the door closed. And so he went to his room.

* * *

The trip went in silent. Sam didn't talk to Dean during hours. He just kept look out the window of the Impala, crying silently as they got far away from Castiel's house.

Dean pulled over for lunch. Sam was still quiet. "Oh, don't sulk at me. It was your choice." Dean said tired of Sam's bad mood.

"Why did I have to choose for starts? We're brothers. You're my family. I thought we would always be together. You shouldn't question that. You don't have the right to question that." Sam spoke after hours of silence. "Sometimes…you're really a jerk."

"If I'm such a jerk… why didn't you stay?"

"You wanna know why? Because I wasn't alright. And I won't be alright…whoever I chose. I'm a wreck and if I had stayed Cas would be a wreck too."

"What, you're like Siamese twins?" Dean interrupted.

"He cares about me. Enough to pain him to see me hurt."Sam shouted. "Just like I'd give anything to not see him cry." He admitted quietly to himself, out of statement. "So I couldn't do that to him. But you… you just don't care."

* * *

**"This is what you might call a tragedy from the human perspective."**

**Sorry for being so short... But I hope you liked it. **


	26. Living in a world without you

Chapter 26: Living in a world without you

The next 2 months were extremely difficult for both Sam and Castiel. The school had ended and his marks decreased. But at least he was on vacation, which wasn't entirely good because with nothing to do Castiel spend the time on his room thinking about Sam.

Castiel wasn't as bad as he was when he thought Sam had died, but he still missed him…so much. Castiel used the necklace Sam gave him all the time and every night before he falls asleep, he thought and remembered Sam. Most of the nights he cried silently under the sheets. Sometimes when Gabriel wasn't working at the night shift, he came comforting him. Castiel was grateful by everything his brother had done for him.

Castiel wanted to do something. He thought in caling Sam several times, but he wasn't sure if that was wise. After all he was trying to get over Sam and calling him wouldn't help.

Sam and Dean were living in a beautiful town. Dean was working in constructions and Sam was working in a fast-food restaurant. Together they managed to pay the rent of a nice house, better that any they lived in after their mother's death.

At work some girls came to talk to Sam. Well, more kind of flirting him. But Sam found a nice way of sent them away. So he was usually alone. He missed Cas a lot; he wanted to hug and kiss him again. But he probably would never do that again. That was the true reality that made Sam sad.

However, Dean believed Sam would be fine with time. But had passed 2 months, and Dean sometimes wondered if separate his brother from Castiel had been the right thing to do. Occasionally Dean dreamed about Gabriel, lovely and passionate dreams. When Dean woke up he felt great, happy. But he didn't want to. Not because of Gabriel. Why did he have so much effect on him? Dean wondered…

One night, when Sam was leaving work he was pulled to an alley. He tried to escape from whoever had grabbed him. He was pushed against the wall.

"Hello again, Sammy." Said a not friendly voice.

"You…" Sam recognized the guy.

"Aren't you a lucky boy? You have more lives than a cat."

Sam was scared and tried to escape again.

"Easy cowboy."

Dean, who was picking up Sam at the work, heard voices at the alley. "Hey! You let him go." Dean ordered, approaching them.

"Dean, don't." Sam saw a man behind Dean. "Look out." He warned.

Before Dean could do anything, the man hit him in the head with a stick. Dean fell on the ground, unconscious.

The man who was grabbing Sam pulled out a handkerchief with chloroform and pressed it against Sam's mouth and nose. Sam passed out.

After some hours Sam started come conscious.

"Sam…" He heard a familiar voice calling him. "Sam. Wake up." He recognized Dean's voice.

Sam opened his eyes and immediately felt himself tied.

"Sam, you ok?" Dean asked.

He looked at his brother next to him tied to a chair, like him. "I'm fine."

They were in an empty room, old and dirty. "Where are we?" Sam asked.

"Who knows where these suckers brought us…" Dean said. "Who are they anyway?"

"They're crazy thieves."

"How do you know?" Dean asked.

"I… I've met them."

"What? How?"

"They tried to kill me."

"What? These are the drug dealers who tried to kill you?" Dean asked in shock.

"Yes."

Suddenly they hear the door in the room open. "Oh, I see the Sleep Beauties are awake…" Al said. He had short blond hair and cold blue eyes. He was wearing dark clothes and he had a belt with a gun and a knife. "I just came to see if you were comfy…"

"What do you want with us?" Sam asked, and immediately regret of doing so.

"Sammy… I thought you were a smart boy. It isn't everyone who can escape us." Al approached Sam. "But you're here to correct that mistake." He smirked.

They were about to kill him."You want **me… **So let my brother go." Sam said.

"Sorry kiddo. I can't do that. He saw us, he interfered... Wrong place wrong time. We had nothing against him… but you put him into this. And now he'll suffer the same fate as you."

"If you do something to him…" Dean warned Al.

"You do what?"

"If you even touch him… I swear I'll kill you." Dean said angry.

Al took off his knife and held it against Sam's face. Sam turned his face away. Al quickly grabbed Sam's jaw.

"Don't." Dean shouted.

"Ahh…" Sam groaned as Al made a cut in his face. Blood started to drain down Sam's face.

"Oops." Al made a false innocent look. "What you're gonna do now superman?" He said to Dean.

Dean preferred to remain in silence, not to worse their situation.

"If I wanted to do something to your brother, I would. And there was nothing you could do about it." Al told Dean. "But I already have my bitch." He looked at Sam.

Al stepped away. "The boss is coming. Enjoy your few last moments." Before he leave the room he said "It's pointless you scream for help. This is an isolated place, no one will hear you. And don't even try to escape, or the two guys outside will come here and shoot you both." Then he left.

"You ok?" dean asked his brother.

"Yeah… It's just a superficial cut." Sam calmed down after the stressful meeting. "I'm sorry." He said.

"For what?" Dean asked.

"For getting you into this."

"Sam, don't. It's not your fault." _It's me who should say sorry…_ But Dean wasn't going to say it. "We'll get out of here…"

"How?" It was Sam's first instinct. "But he said…" He remembered Al's words.

"I don't care. First we get ourselves loose and then I'll think about a way of passing the guards."

They had the hands tied by a strong rope. Dean tried to make his hand pass in the middle of the rope, but with no success. He tried again several times, every time more desperate. Half hour later he had the wrists wounded and starting to bleed. But he kept trying until he was sweating and too tired to carry on.

"I'm sorry, Sammy." Dean said hopelessly, not knowing what else to do. "For everything…" He said in a low voice. Dean knew he had made Sam suffer by screaming at him and making him leave Castiel and if they were going to die he didn't want Sam to die hating him. Although Dean don't be very good expressing his feeling, Sam knew when what his brother meant. And, of course, he wouldn't ever truly hate Dean.

Sometime later Zack came in, and one of the guards entered behind him holding a shotgun.

"Hey, fellas." Zack said ironically. "We meet again…" He said to Sam. Zack was able to see the fear in Sam's eyes. "And this is your lovely brother Dean." He smirked.

"Why don't you go back to your Zen therapy in intoxication, you rock junkie?" Dean said.

Zack laughed. Dean, unlike Sam, showed no fear. "We are drug dealers, you idiot. We don't consume. Or else we wouldn't have so much product to sell…"

"So none of your men ever took some for himself?"

"Some did. But now they're too afraid…" Zack took his gun of the jacket. "After what happened to them."

"That sure must have alerted the cops…"

"We know how to trick the cops… We destroy any evidence that may lead them to us." Zack said. "Your brother knows how it is. He saw one of our operations…" He looked at Sam. "Unfortunately it wasn't very successful. I should've known better… If you want a job well done…" Zack charged his gun. "Do it yourself." And pointed the gun at Sam's head.

Sam felt his heart beat faster. "No." dean shouted.

"I'm doing him a favor." Zack told Dean. "I could shoot him anywhere of his body, and he would bleed to death, it painful. But I'll shoot him in the head, and the lights go out instantly."

Sam was so scared he didn't pay attention of what Zack said. Zack put the breech down. Right before he pulls the trigger someone interrupted, entering in the room. Sam couldn't believe who had just prolonged his life, even if it was only for a few more minutes.

"Balthazar." Zack said. "I hope you have a good excuse."

"May I speak to you?"

"What do you want?"

"I just… don't think you need to kill them." He tried not to piss off Zack.

"They saw us."

"If they were going to identify us for the cops, they would've done it already." Balthazar tried to convince him.

"You know the rules, Balthazar." Zack said with the gun pointed at Sam.

"They're scared. They won't denounce us. And cops will never get us."

"I'm warning you, Balthazar… Don't push your luck." Zack told him with threatening look.

Balthazar shut up. He looked at Sam with an apologetic look. It wasn't fair for him to die… "I won't let you do that." Balthazar held his gun at Zack. "Drop the gun."

Immediately the guard pointed the shotgun at Balthazar.

"How you dare to defy me?" Zack asked. "You're in no position of negotiating."

"Yes, I am. I have a gun too." Balthazar tried to sound confident.

"What about your darling Castiel?" Something flipped on Sam's head when he heard Castiel's name.

"Al is back. You have no one watching Castiel. You have nothing to use against me."

"Au contraire, my friend. If Mohammed can't go to the mountain, the mountain will go to Mohammed." Balthazar didn't understand what his boss meant. "Al." Zack called.

Al walks in bringing Castiel with him, and they stood next to Dean. Both Sam and Balthazar were in shock. Castiel had the hands tied behind his back. His jeans and t-shirt were covered with dust, which suggested he was there at several days.

"You remember I tell you about my bitch, don't you…?" Al smirked.

"You bastard son of a bitch." Balthazar said angry.

"Don't worry. I took good care of him… I gave him everything he needed. And much more." Al passed a hand to Castiel's lower abdomen, caressing him suggestively.

Sam looked at Castiel who looked away ashamed.

"I'll kill you, you sicko." Balthazar pointed the gun at Al.

"Woaw, two death threats in one day… I'm gonna be famous." He hide himself behind Castiel, using him as a bullet shield. "You won't gonna hurt sweat Castiel, do you?"

Balthazar pointed the gun back to Zack. "Come on Balthy, give up. You have no leverage."

"And now you're all gonna die…" Zack said.


	27. Past will come to hunt you or save you

**Thanks a lot for all the reviews, alerts and faves.**

**I hope you like the new chapter :)  
**

* * *

Chapter 27: The past will come to hunt you… or save you

In that moment they heard what seemed to be a muffled shoot behind the door. In the next second a guy, with the hood of his black jacket covering half of his face, walks in, point the gun with a silencer and shoot Al. Without Al's support Castiel feel on the ground. The guard pointed at the guy but Balthazar shoot him. But in the meanwhile Zack shoot the mysterious guy once, but he misses. Balthazar hustled Zack and the gun fell of his hand. Zach hit him hard and fast, leaving Balthazar dizzy. Then Zack run to the exit door but before get out the mysterious guy shoot him in the leg. Zack fell on the ground in pain.

"Why took you so long?" Balthazar asked the guy.

The guy threw him some rope and dup tape. While Balthazar tied Zack the guy with black jacket brought the body of the guard he had killed outside in the room. Then he took Al's knife and cut the rope around Castiel's wrists.

Castiel let out a sound of relief. The guy held his hand to Castiel to help him get up. Castiel shyly accepted. "Who are you?" Castiel asked.

The guy pulled back the hood. Castiel thought he was seeing a ghost. After a moment of perplexity Castiel was able to say "Jimmy". Jimmy smiled. And Castiel hugged him tight. "I knew you were alive…" He said with tears in his eyes, tears of joy. Suddenly all his fear turned in happiness. The hole in Castiel's heart was filled again.

Sam and Dean were staring at them while Balthazar got them loose.

"But how are you alive?" Castiel asked.

"There's no time to explain now. We must go." Jimmy grabbed him by the arm and leaded him out the room.

"Now you're the one who'll die slowly, dick bag." Dean told Zack.

Sam, Dean and Balthazar followed Jimmy and Castiel. They walked a few meters in a corridor and then entered in a room full of guns and in the middle there was as an old table.

Jimmy noticed Castiel's arm was cold. It didn't wonder, that place was cold and Castiel was wearing only a t-shirt. He took off his jacket. "Take my jacket." Jimmy said putting the jacket on Castiel's back. Castiel smiled grateful but Jimmy noticed he was distracted.

Castiel was looking at Sam helping Balthazar locking the door.

"Thanks." Sam said to Balthazar. "For what you did."

Balthazar looked surprised for Sam's thank. Sam had to admit he still didn't like Balthazar much, but he had helped them and Sam was grateful for that. "You're welcome." Balthazar said. "It was part of the plan."

Jimmy noticed his brother looking at his ex-boyfriend. And then he looked at Dean who was at the entrance, covering his bloody wrists with a tissue. "Stay here." He told Castiel.

"Hey, you." Jimmy said approaching Dean. "Dean, right?"

"Yeah…" He confirmed.

"Come with me. I need your help." And Dean followed Jimmy to the table.

Balthazar joined them, leaving Sam behind.

Sam approached Castiel. "Are you ok?" He asked.

Castiel looked at him. "Yeah…" He said without thinking. The truth was that he still hadn't thought about it. After all that had just happened...he was still a bit in shock and nervous. It was crazy. "No." Castiel corrected.

Sam came and hugged him close. Sam could feel Castiel trembling sometimes. But he was stressed and with fast heartbeat. Castiel felt more comfy in Sam's arms. His warmth, his smell… "I missed you." Castiel said looking up into Sam's eyes. Sam kissed him tenderly as he caressed Castiel's cheek. For moments they were abstracted from the world, the situation they were in, which calmed them down.

When they broke the kiss, Sam's thoughts returned to his question. "What a meant was… did Al did anything to you?"

"No." Castiel answered sincerely. "All those talk… He was bluffing. He only came to bring me something to eat."

"Thank god, for that." Castiel smiled. He loved to see Sam worried about him. He looked so sweet…

Then they heard Dean and Jimmy's voices, they seem to be fighting which alerted them.

"Why do I have to be listening to you?" They heard Dean shouting. "Who made you the boss?"

"I'm trying to get us out of here. What I'm telling you may save your life. But if you don't wanna listen, you can go. Be my guest."

"Jimmy." Castiel said interrupting his brother. They looked at each other intensely. _Don't say that…_ Castiel sent a telepathic message to his brother. _He may do it. _Dean was freaking out with the situation. And Castiel feared he would go away because of his stubbornness.

"And I didn't need your interference. I can take care of myself." Dean said to Castiel hostility.

_Ok, that's it._ Jimmy thought. "Look, I don't know you. I don't care about you. I'm just here to save my brother." He told Dean angrily. "But he has feelings for Sam and he asked me to save you too. He's the only reason why you're still alive. So you better start treating him with a little gratitude. And respect, if I'm not asking too much."

Then a silence installed in the room. Dean didn't say a word. They waited to know if Dean wanted to leave or not. As he didn't do anything, Balthazar broke the silence. "So here's the plan…" They all turned to Balthazar and approached the table with a map. "We want to get out of here and make sure no one will ever come after us. So the only way of doing that is to blow up this building."

_Great, more explosions. _Sam thought. Castiel wasn't very happy about the plan but he heard it to the end.

"We split up in two. Each group take the explosives and put them here…and here." Balthazar pointed at the map of the building. "These are the stronger walls. We blow them up and the rest of the building will fall down."

"Ok. I'm going with them." Jimmy said pointing at Sam and Dean. "You go with Balthazar." He told to Castiel.

Castiel had a sudden feeling that something was wrong. "No." Castiel said. "Why?" He asked Jimmy.

No one understood what Castiel meant. "I know you. You have another thing planed." Castiel told his brother. "You want the bad guys to think you are me."

Despite all the years they lived apart, Castiel could still read his mind very easily. "Cas, if this goes wrong… they can't get you."

"They can't get any of us…" Castiel said.

"You are the king in this chessboard. If they catch you, Balthazar and I – we're in their team again and they are death." Jimmy pointed at Sam and Dean.

"What if they catch you?"

Jimmy understood his brother's worry. "If they catch me… you carry on with the plan. When they found out I'm not you, you'll be far away from here."

"You'd come back for me… but I can't come back for you. How is that fair?"

"Ok, forget it. Think this is going to be fine." It wasn't good to be overreacting about something that may not happen. "Just in case something goes wrong, we switch roles."

"I can't." Castiel said. "I can't be you." Jimmy had a natural strength that Castiel couldn't fake, to make others believe it was his own.

"Of course you can. We've done it before…"

"It was different. We were 5." It had been a long time ago and they were just kids. "And if went wrong the worst that could happen was a tickling attack from Gabe."

Jimmy remembered the time they confused Gabriel. "Good times…"

"Yeah." Castiel sadly agreed.

"Like you said, you know me. Better than anyone. You can play me." Jimmy put a hand on Castiel's shoulder to convince him. "Just believe in yourself."

Castiel took a deep breath and get self-confidence. "Ok."

"So, after planting the bombs, you three musketeers go to the parking lot and get the hell out of here in Dean's car." Balthazar continued the plan.

"They brought my baby?" Dean asked.

"Well, they couldn't leave an abandoned car in front of a closed coffee shop. It may get attentions." Balthazar explained. "Cassie and I will find other car and then we blow this up."

"I already have the explosives. But you need protection." Jimmy said and gave a gun to Dean, Sam and Castiel. Then he taught them how to use it. "We better get going."

Dean, Sam and Jimmy were going first. Sam and Castiel only had time for a quick exchange of looks.

"I'm sorry." Balthazar said to Castiel, who looked back at him. "I know that you know…"

"It was you who told them where Sam and Dean were. You promised you wouldn't tell anything." Castiel said disappointed.

"I just wanted to get Al away from you."

"It didn't go so well."

"That's why I'm saying sorry." Balthazar said. "Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not." Castiel knew he was truly sorry. "I'm just…worried."

"Don't worry. I'll protect you." Balthazar loaded his gun. "Let's go."

* * *

The three musketeers kept walking to the spot Balthazar told them. Jimmy went in the front opening the way and Dean covered the back while Sam was safe between them. Bad guys started to appear; the men they couldn't pass unnoticed, Jimmy had no choice but to shoot them.

A few more meters and they found the right spot. Jimmy set the explosives on the wall while Dean stays on guard.

In the meanwhile Castiel and Balthazar were on their way when they were surprised on of Zack's men. "I got you now…" He said pointing the gun at Castiel.

Balthazar stood in front of him. "You don't have to do this, Raph."

"I have orders, you know how it is. If I don't do it, Zack will kill me."

"And if you try to do it, I will kill you." Balthazar warned him. "I'm sorry, you're still my friend, but I'll do it if I have to."

"Well, better you than Zack."

"You don't mean that." Balthazar was surprised and terrified by his friend's answer. "Look, come with us. We'll leave this place and send Zack to hell…and you can start a new life."

"Who says I want to live. I've done a lot of bad things, you know I did. I did it all my life, I can't do anything else."

"You can do whatever you want; be who you wanted to be."

"That's funny... Not many months ago you said you'd even kill yourself if it solved your problem." Balthazar remembered that time of despair. Castiel felt some guilt because it was in fact his problem. "You said I could ask you anything… so, please…"

"No. You can't ask me that."

"I'll give a reason…" Raph pointed the gun at Castiel.

Balthazar had no choice but shoot him in the head. He stood staring at his friend's body. He had killed several people, which he wasn't proud of, but this had been the most difficult. Castiel sympathetically touched Balthazar's arm. And they carried on their way.

Jimmy got the explosives ready and they moved to where Dean's car was. They move quietly, not to being detected. Dean is pulled back by someone who puts a hand on his mouth, stopping from screaming. It happened so fast and silently that neither Sam nor Jimmy noticed he was missing. As Dean turns around a girl about his age take the gun off his hand.

"What do you want?" Dean asked.

"Just have some fun…"

They immediately got into a fight. She was strong despite her slim body. She had been trained for body combat, certainly. She had quick moves, but Dean fights back. And the fact that she was a girl didn't slow him down or made him show any merci.

After some time Dean got tired which made him more vulnerable. A few more hits and Dean got dizzy and fell on the ground.

"You disappoint me, Dean." She said a bit tired.

Only then Dean looked at her properly. She had tight jeans, black boots and a black top. Dean found her a kind of hot, and her blond short hair gave her a crazy look.

"I gave you a chance to escape. I could just shot you. But I needed a little training and I thought you were the one that had a better chance of winning me." She squatted above Dean and cuffed him to a metal tube.

"Hey." Dean protested for being stuck again.

"Don't pretend you don't enjoy…" She gave him a kinky look.

She got up and made a call. "I got one of them. What do I do?" She asked whoever she was talking to. "Yes, boss." She hung up and then she held Dean's gun and pointed at him. "Sorry, boss' orders…"

"Put the gun down, Meg." Someone else said.

"Jimmy." She recognized him. "How long I didn't see you… I missed you."

"Put the gun down and release him." He ordered, threatening her with a gun.

"Don't be so hard on me… That hurts a girls feeling." She sounded like little girl. "Why don't we play a game? Let's see who shoot first…"

"You're disposed to die just to get the job done?"

Meg looked at him confused. She had met Jimmy before and he would ask such thing to make her give up of her plans. A threatening would be more his style. She took a step towards him and she noticed something on his neck; something was missing.

"Stay back." He warned.

She smirked, and then she started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Dean asked.

"Oh, you don't know… You were tricked too." Dean was clueless. "He… is not Jimmy." She turned at him. "Isn't it… Castiel?"

He didn't confirm or deny it, but inside Castiel lost trust in the character he was playing. A character based on his brother.

"You're good, I have to admit. You almost fooled me." She confessed. "But I like to mark my victims. Some months ago I made a cut on your brother's neck. And you… have no scar."

"It doesn't change anything. I still have a gun…" Castiel tried to sound more convict as possible.

"Really? You're going to kill me?" She lowered the gun. "I bet this is the first time you held a gun, right? You never fired a gun. And I don't think you have the guts to do it. So sorry, but you don't sound very frightening."

"You don't know me…" He did the possible not to show he was scared.

"No?" Meg asked him. "Castiel Novak, 17 years old. One of the best students in the school. Your parents died in an accident when you were 5, and supposedly Jimmy too. You live with your brothers since then. You're traumatized by the accident and you never got over it. You were mostly alone… until 2 years ago Balthazar get into your life. How sweet." She joked ironically. "Recently you got away from home. I heard it was because of your brother. And who would you find, if not little Sammy? Then you two had to interfere in our plans." She stopped for a moment. "Al said you cried like a baby when you thought Sam died. I'd like to have seen it… So romantic… And now you want to save the guy who separated you from Sam?"

Castiel didn't answer. He felt exposed and vulnerable.

"He made you suffer. He deserves a punishment. So why don't you go, and I'll give him what he deserves? I swear I won't go after you. No one will know you were here. And you can live happily ever after, with Sam." Meg said approaching him.

Castiel lowered his gun, intimidated by Meg. He stood still but he was trembling inside. He put the gun in his jacket pocket.

Meg smiled. "Good choice."

As she turns around Castiel electrified her with a Taser C2. Meg trembled as the electric shock spread on her body and then she fell on the ground.

Castiel took the keys of Dean's handcuffs of Meg's pocket and got close to Dean to release him. The problem was that there were a lot of keys. It took a while to Castiel get the right key. As he inserted the key in the cuffs Meg come behind him.

"Cas..." Dean tried to warn him.

Meg put an arm around Castiel's neck, but he put the head down. His chin was in front of his neck so Meg couldn't suffocate him.

"You think I never got with a taser before?" Meg said as Castiel got up. But it wasn't only Meg experience and resistance that had made her recover so quickly, Castiel thought the taser shouldn't in good conditions so it didn't have the full effect.

But the truth was that she was still a bit dizzy and Castiel took advance. He got her by the arm, stooped and threw her to the floor. Meg trip him up and Castiel fell too. She rolled over him and this time she got the hands on his neck. Meg kept strangle him and Castiel started to feel the lack of air.

Suddenly Castiel heard a shot and Meg fell unconscious and bleeding. He saw Dean standing in front of him. Fortunately, he had managed to open the handcuffs. Castiel stood on the ground breathing heavily. Dean helped him to get up. "C'mon. We gotta go." And they left the room.

After some time Dean stopped. "I don't understand. Why did you come help me? Why didn't you just leave? It was the best." He said guilty.

"Best for whom?" Castiel responded. "Maybe for me… but not for Sam. You're his family. My mother used to say family always comes first. So I get why he went with you. I just wanted you to realize that and appreciate it." Castiel paused. "I know what's like to lose a brother. And I don't want Sam to know what that feels like. Unlike what you may think, I care about your brother."

"I guess so…" Dean finally understood the love between Castile and his brother. "Well… I just, wanted to… -about what you did-… to say…"

"You're welcome, Dean." Castiel said with a smile.

Dean nodded. "Man, you're weird."

Castiel laughed. "Coming from you, I take it as a compliment." It hadn't been the worst thing Dean had said to him.

"I mean, I saw you fighting Meg… You did cool moves. Who would think…"

"I warned her. She doesn't know me." Castiel said. "There was a time some guys were bulling me. I was really in bad shape, once…" Castiel remembered that time and then shook his head to the image go away. "Well, then learned self-defense. "

"They were bulling you… because… you were gay?"

"Yeah." He said. "Add that to them always bringing up my parent's death. Kids can be cruel…" Castiel paused. "Can you… not tell anyone about this?"

"If you don't tell I was beaten by a girl… I have a reputation to keep." Dean said smirking.

"Obviously."

Then Castiel and Dean split up. Castiel got back to Balthazar and Dean run to the way out, where he found Jimmy and Sam worried.

"Where were you?" Balthazar asked angry when he saw Castiel.

"I just… went to see something."

"You know, if something happened to you… your brother would kill me." Of course Balthazar wasn't just worried about what Jimmy would do. He was concerned about Castiel.

"I'm fine." He assured him.

"Let's go."

Balthazar found a car, they got in and drove to the Impala were Dean, Sam and Jimmy were. They drove away from the building and then pulled the trigger of the bombs. They heard a enormous explosion, the building collapsed and fire and smoke start to coming out. Then they see a truck coming out from the smoke. It was Zack and he started shooting, while the driver chasing them.

Dean drove as fast as he can and Balthazar went after him. Zack hit the car where Castiel and Balthazar were. The shattered glass of the window comes in car. They heard more a few shoots and they kept on the road.

"Oh, no." Balthazar exhaled.

"What?"

"I know this road… It's a dead end." Balthazar tried not to cause panic but he deserved the truth. "They'll catch us not many miles from here."

"We have to do something…" Castiel said scared.

Jimmy was in the back seat of the Impala when a sudden bad feeling invaded his heart. He turned around to see the car where his brother and Baltahzar were. _Sorry…I love you, brother. _He got the mental message from Castiel. Then he was sure something was wrong.

"Stop the car." Jimmy told Dean.

"What?"

"They're gonna do something stupid." Jimmy explained.

Before Dean could ask what he meant they heard the car behind them hit the brakes and turned to the side. The jeep where Zack was didn't predict the braking and crashed into Balthazar's car violently, jumping over it and hitting on the ground turned over. Smoke came out of both vehicles.


	28. Take that shot

Chapter 28: Take that shot

Dean stopped the car immediately. Jimmy and Sam got out of the Impala and ran to car crash, hoping Castiel and Balthazar were ok.

Sam opened the passenger's door of the car and found Castiel unconscious. "Cas." Sam called and turned his boyfriend's head to him gently. Sam saw blood coming of Castiel's head. "Cas." He called again, more softly.

Castiel opened his eyes unfocused. "Sam…" He whispered in a weak voice.

"Hey. Do you have anything broken?" Sam asked to know if it was safe to move Castiel.

Castiel just shook slightly his head and he fainted again. Sam put Castiel's arm around his neck and took him in his arms and went to the Impala.

Jimmy had been trying to open the jammed and dented door of Balthazar's side. "Balthazar, you ok?" Jimmy called for him. He had cuts on his face and in the arm, which was bleeding. "Not really." He answered.

Jimmy noticed fuel coming under the car, so they had to move quickly before the car exploded. When he finally opened the door, Balthazar let out a groan. Jimmy noticed why when he looked at Balthazar's bloody leg.

"Come on. We have to go." Balthazar tried to move but his left leg hurt him a lot, although he didn't think it was broken. With several soft groans of pain, but with Jimmy's help, he got out of the car. Balthazar held himself on Jimmy, and Dean came to help them.

They heard shots coming in their direction. In the distance Jimmy recognized Zack. Dean started to shoot back, but he was too far to hit him. Jimmy and Balthazar hid behind the car. The shots were passing close to them and one bullet hit Balthazar on the right shoulder.

Jimmy, like a fearless hero, stepped away from the car, pulled his gun and fired. After three shots he hit Zach, but he kept shooting. When he released his anger he got back to help Dean taking Balthazar to the car. They lied him down on the backseat and Dean drove away.

Jimmy was knelled on the floor of the car, next to Balthazar, pressing his wounded shoulder with his sweater. "How's Cas?" He asked Sam.

Sam shook his head and sent him a scared look that meant 'I don't know'. He had unconscious Castiel sitting on his lap turned to the side and he was holding him tight. Sam cleaned the blood on his lover's face with his sleeve as he caressed his dark hair.

"We have to take them to a hospital." Jimmy said.

"And where is the hospital? I don't even know where we are." Dean shouted.

"Don't worry, I know this area. Just turn left in the next exit."

Jimmy kept guiding Dean as he took care of Balthazar. He was still in pain but he was better by staying still.

After some time Castiel got conscious again and opened his eyes slightly. "Sam..." He whispered, feeling Sam's embrace.

"Cas." Sam turned his attention to him. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts." He answered and Sam kissed his head.

Castiel noticed what was happening around him, where he was and he remembered the crash. "How's Balthazar?" He asked suddenly. Then he looked behind Sam's shoulder. "Oh my god." He said as he saw Balthazar lied down, pale and covered with blood.

"You were right, it was a bad idea." Balthazar managed to say and forced a smile at Castiel. "But it was the only way of stopping them." Behind Balthazar's words Jimmy could sense his pain.

"So can you tell how you're alive?" Castiel asked his brother to dissipate the silence in the car.

"Ok." Jimmy took a deep breath before he started. "Well, I don't know what happened exactly. I was hidden in the car and when the crash happened and the car falling, I screamed. Only then mom realized I was there." Jimmy told mainly to Castiel. "I remember water coming from everywhere. Mom tried to get out but she couldn't, so she pulled me out of the car by the window. The current dragged me, I hit on a rock and I blacked out. When I woke up I was in a warehouse, some guys had take me there and decided to keep me. Only then I knew they were thieves. I tried to get out of there, get back home, but they didn't let me. They trained me and inserted me in the gang." Jimmy explained, ashamed for the things he had done. "The gang was rival of Zack's. Some months ago we had a fight; that was when I met Balthazar."

"I was very surprised. I thought he was you." Balthazar said to Castiel.

"Since Balthazar told me about his deal with Zack we worked on a way of getting you out of it. Of getting us all free."

Of Jimmy's emotional story all Castiel was able to say "Thanks…"

Jimmy smiled at him. _It's good to have you back._ Castiel sent the message mentally to his brother.

He felt a stronger pain in his head and he took a hand to his head as he groaned.

"Cas…" Jimmy and Sam said concerned at the same time.

The peak of pain faded and Sam noticed Castiel relaxing a bit. "You feel better?" Sam asked as he rubbed his boyfriend's arm.

"Yeah…" He said, although his head still hurt him, in a way to thank him for trying to make him feel better.

But Sam didn't believe in him, so he unexpectedly kissed Castiel. Castiel wasn't sure what Sam's kiss meant; it wasn't essentially passionate but there was love, like in all Sam's kisses. Castiel moved gently his body to adjust into a new comfortable position where he could better Sam's affection, he unconsciously put a firm hand on Sam's face and the kiss became deeper and more passionate.

"Hey, hey. Guys… stop." Dean protested.

Sam ignored and put a hand between Castiel's legs seductively.

"Sam, what the hell?" Dean shouted.

Sam broke the kiss. Castiel saw a quick smirk on Sam's lips, he enjoyed to piss off his brother. "I was just experimenting something." Sam said innocently.

"You don't do that kind of experiments in my car." Dean put the eyes back on the road. "And much less in my presence."

"I just wanted to make Cas feel better…" Sam tried to explain but immediately thought he had picked the wrong word.

"Oh, I'm sure you did."

In that moment Castiel noticed he didn't feel the headache while Sam was kissing him. Unfortunately the pain was coming back. "What Sam meant was that he wanted to take my pain away."

"How?" Dean asked like 'how a kiss would help?'.

"Tricking my brain. The brain is like a machine and it can do several things at the same time. But if there's only one information to process, like pain, it will do only that at full capacity; but if there's other stimulus, the brain will have multiples tasks and it will reduce the pain." Sam explained a kind like a doctor.

"So that's why parents caress kids' wounds when they're hurt?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded. "Hum, I always thought that was just to calm down the kids, that it had only psychological effect."

"Nope, there's scientific proves."

"But as the caresses didn't work, I thought it was best something more… vigorous." Sam said. "Did it work?" He asked Castiel.

"Momentarily, yes." He answered with the pain coming back again.

In the meanwhile Jimmy was getting worried about Balthazar. The sweater he was pressing against the wound was already soaked in blood. He noticed the fast breathing of Balthazar and he could tell he was in pain by the expressions of his face. With the free hand Jimmy hold Balthazar's cold hand.

"Thank you… for helping me to get my brother back." Jimmy said.

"I promised I'd help you." Balthazar coughed.

"I know… But I didn't trust you at the time…now, I do. You risked your life… I just wanted you to know I appreciate what you did."

Balthazar squeezed Jimmy's hand right before faint. He checked Balthazar's pulse, he was still alive but his pulse was weak. "Hang on. We're almost there." Jimmy said, not only to Balthazar but also to himself.

Castiel was looking out the window. "I know this place. I know where we are. We're…"

"Home." Jimmy finished his brother's sentence.

In 5 minutes they got to the hospital where they were immediately assisted.


	29. Love is in the air

Chapter 29: Love is in the air

The sun was rising when Gabriel got to the hospital for work. Jimmy and Sam were at the corridor, waiting for news.

"Cas." Gabriel called surprised and approached them. "Where have you been?" The tone showed he was worry and upset.

Jimmy stared at him for a while, to his brother he hadn't seen in many years. "I'm not Cas." It was all he said.

Gabriel was confused for a moment. "Oh my god… Jimmy." And Gabriel hugged his little brother he thought he was death. He figured it was Jimmy not by what he said, but by the way he said it. Gabriel was very happy for Jimmy being back, but… "Where's Cas?"

Jimmy and Sam resumed the events they had been through. The doctors had taken Castiel and Balthazar as soon as they arrived and they hadn't had any news since then. Gabriel was worried and went to see how Castiel was.

Twenty minutes later, Gabriel came back already dressed with the white uniform. "Cas'll be fine. They're making some exams, just to make sure he's ok."

Jimmy and Sam felt relieved. "About your other friend… he's at the operation room. That's all I know." Gabriel informed and then he turned to Sam. "Is your brother here?"

"Yes. He's at the infirmary." Sam said before Gabriel leave.

* * *

When he got in the infirmary he saw a nurse taking care of Dean's wounded wrists.

"Gabe… Late, as usual." His colleague girl said.

"I have a good excuse this time…" He had been looking for Castiel, he didn't even look at the time.

"Yeah, yeah… Just take care of this guy, will you?"

"Where are you going?" Gabriel asked her.

"It's needed assistance in a surgery. Unless you wanna go…"She said tapping the gauze on one of Dean's wrists.

"No, no. You go." Gabriel liked his job as a nurse, but assisting surgeries made him uncomfortable.

She smiled at him and got out the room.

Dean was sitting on a stretcher and he looked stressed. Gabriel approached him and held his other hand. "Oh, what happened to you?" He asked looking at Dean's wrist.

"You don't wanna know." Dean said looking down and avoiding the question.

"Too bad… I already talked to your brother." Gabriel showed him a smile. "The good thing is it's all over now." He concluded honestly.

Gabriel disinfected Dean's wound and put some gauze around his wrist. All the time Dean was quiet, which Gabriel found strange. "Are you ok?" He asked when he finished.

Dean gave him a look that meant 'I don't wanna talk about it'.

"Dean…" It wasn't for Dean to let everything in, so Gabriel had to make hi talk.

"No, I'm not ok. I'm freaking out." Dean stood up suddenly. "We could have died there. I almost did. Now I look back at my life, to all the crap I did… To Sam, to you… It was stupid and selfish and I shouldn't have done it! Because you were right about me…" Dean looked into Gabriel's eyes. "And I do like you." Only then he noticed how close he was from Gabriel and with an impulse kissed him.

When the surprised moment passed Gabriel pulled him back gently. "Are you sure you didn't hit with your head?" It wasn't natural Dean speak his mind, and unimaginable to kiss him.

"No." Dean said quickly and seriously, as if he hadn't understood Gabriel was joking.

"Then it should be the effect of adrenaline." Gabriel concluded playfully.

"Then you should take advantage." Dean smirked before he kissed Gabriel again.

Gabriel put his arm around Dean's neck as Dean pushed him against the wall, cornering him with his body and invading Gabriel's mouth with his wet tongue. That send what seemed to be electric shocks through their bodies, filling them with a lustful heat that they couldn't control, so Gabriel jumped to Dean's lap, wrapping the legs around Dean's waist. Dean stopped the deep kiss and started to lick Gabriel's soft neck as their cocks were pressed together, feeding their desire.

A sudden bip made them stop. Gabriel pulled out his pager and jumped out of Dean. "Damn it." He looked at Dean. "I have to go." He said, still a bit breathless.

"What? Now?" Dean sounded upset, like a child that had been taken away their favorite toy.

"Yeah. They need me." Gabriel confirmed.

"I need you." Dean said involuntarily.

Gabriel smirked and put a hand on his pocket. "Oh, don't be sad…" Gabriel made fun of Dean. "Take this." He handed him a lollipop, he used to give it to kids and he also ate some too. "I know it's not as sweet as I am… but it's close, right?"

"Maybe I'll replace you for it…" Dean didn't like people to make fun of him.

"Stay here." Gabriel kissed Dean's sweet lips one last time before leaving. "I'll be back."

Later, Gabriel called Michael and told him what had happened. Michael and Lucifer's reunion with Jimmy was very emotional; with Michael it was expected, but no one thought Lucifer would actually cry (even if it was just one tear) when he saw Jimmy. After that, they took Jimmy and Sam home.

It was afternoon already when they got home. The teenagers took a bath, ate and went to sleep; Jimmy in Castiel's bed and Sam on the couch.

Gabriel visited Castiel in the evening, after dinner, and he found his brother a bit stressed.

"You should get some sleep." Gabriel advised him.

"I can't." He said sadly. Every time he closed his eyes, flashbacks came to his mind.

"You want me to give you something to sleep?"

"No." Castiel didn't like to take that kind of pills or anything else Gabriel was thinking in giving him. "Thank you."

"Just try to rest, ok?" Gabriel insisted, passing a hand on Castiel's hair.

Castiel nodded.

* * *

During the night Sam woke up with a terrifying nightmare of Zack shooting Castiel. He got up breathing fast and shaking. He had slept some hours but he still felt tired.

Jimmy was awake for hours, thinking about Balthazar. He was worried about him; when they got out of the hospital he still didn't know anything about Balthazar's clinical condition. For all he knew Balthazar could be dead…

Jimmy jumped out from the bed in a sudden rush. He felt like crying… Balthazar had helped not only with his plan, but he also made of him a better person instead of the bad guy he was. He was his friend, the only friend he had beside his brothers.

Jimmy came downstairs. Seeing Sam awake, he joined him.

"You can't sleep either?" Sam asked him.

"All my life I slept in a crappy improvised bed… This is too much change for one day."

"You can sleep here. I'm done, anyway." Sam offered.

"No. Thanks. I have too much things on my mind right now."

"Welcome to the club…"

They sighed in unison.

Then Jimmy had an idea. "You want to go back to the hospital?"

"Now?" Sam asked surprised.

"I can't stay here without news." Jimmy told him, in a desperate need to do something.

"What about your brothers?" Sam surely wanted to go, he just didn't want to get into trouble with Castiel's brothers.

"I leave them a note."

Jimmy drove to the hospital, and when he and Sam got there, they immediately went looking for Castiel's room. As they didn't know which one was his they looked them all, even in those that were no rooms, like the infirmary.

Sam didn't believe what he saw by the window on the infirmary. "Oh, God." Seeing Sam hypnotized with the shock Jimmy approached the door. He saw Dean lying on the bed…and Gabriel was with him. They were kissing and making noises and… "Ok let's go." Jimmy grabbed Sam by the arm; he surely didn't want to see that.

Some time later they found Castiel's room. They got in quietly not to wake him up, but he was already awake.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel said gladly.

They almost jumped with the scare. "We thought you were sleeping." Jimmy said. "We came to see you." He answered his brother question.

Castiel looked at Sam who seemed distracted.

"How're you feeling?" Jimmy asked.

"I was going to ask the same thing to Sam."

"What?" Sam said hearing his name.

"You're ok?" Castiel repeated the question.

"Sam's still in shock." Jimmy answered first.

"I just saw something unexpected… and disturbing. I saw Dean… and Gabriel…making out."

"They weren't just making out, they were…" Jimmy was going to correct him, but Sam stopped him from verbalizing it.

"Ok, he got the picture." Sam interrupted him.

"Now all makes sense…" Castiel said with a thoughtful look.

"What makes sense?" Sam asked confused.

"The night before you leave I went after Dean and I saw him with Gabriel in a bar. At the time I didn't care, I was just pissed at Dean. Something must have happened that night, which explains why Gabriel has been strange lately."

"He missed Dean." Jimmy concluded.

"I'm happy for them." Castiel commented.

"Yeah, me too. I just… didn't need to see that." Sam agreed.

"Oh, I know a way to make you forget it…" Castiel grabbed Sam by the arm and pulled him into a kiss.

"Uhh, love is in the air…" Jimmy joked.

"Interesting you say that…" Castiel said as pulled away and Sam sat on the bed with a hand around Castiel's neck.

"What do you mean?"

"You know. You're not only here because of me. I saw the way you looked at him, Jimmy."

"I… don't know what you're talking about." Jimmy replied, uncomfortable for being confronted with his feelings.

"Yeah, whatever." Castiel didn't intend to make twin talk, he just wanted to help him. "He's in the room 34. Gabriel said they're waiting for him to wake up to know his state."

Jimmy left in direction of Balthazar's room.

"Did I miss anything?" Sam asked.

"No. It was me who missed you."

Sam lied next to Castiel, caressing his hair.

* * *

When Jimmy found Balthazar's room he saw him lying with tubes and monitors all around him. He looked lifeless; if it wasn't the graphics in the heart monitor, he would think Balthazar was dead.

Jimmy sat in the chair next to the bed. "You have to wake up." He whispered. "Please, you have to." He grabbed Balthazar's hand.

* * *

Sam heard the door opening; for a second he thought he was going to be caught, but it was just Gabriel coming in, and Dean came after him.

"Sam." Dean called surprised and mad seeing him lied with Castiel, who was now sleeping.

Castiel woke up with Dean's loud voice.

"Great Dean, you wake him." After all he had done to make Castiel relax, Dean had to wake him.

Castiel opened his eyes, still sleepy and tired. "What's going on?" He asked in a low voice that only Sam heard it.

"Nothing, go back to sleep." Sam hushed him with a kiss and got out of the bed gently.

Gabriel found sweet the way Sam took care of Castiel.

"Sam, what are you doing? You can't be here."

"No, don't come with that to me. I can't be with Cas, but you can be with Gabriel." Sam tried not to raise his voice to don't disturb Castiel.

Dean looked surprised. "Yeah, I saw you two. I wish I hadn't…" Sam paused. "I have nothing against it… just, you could have said something."

"No, this is different. You can't -" Dean looked to Gabriel. "Gabe, some help here…"

"Sorry, Dean. I think Sam's right."

"What?" Dean protested.

"Come on, let's go." He grabbed Dean by the arm towards the door.

"You're joking, right?" Dean said outside the room. "You're going to let them be?"

"Yes."

Dean stared at him.

"Stop looking so shocked. They were just sleeping." Gabriel said as if it wasn't a big deal, which it wasn't.

"You don't know that for sure." Dean persisted.

"Cas couldn't sleep. I bet Sam couldn't either. This is the only way they can actually rest. They deserve it after what they have been through."

With that he convinced Dean. "Also… they're not as crazy as we are." Gabriel smirked.

* * *

**Sorry for the long waiting... I've been busy writing my other fic "Lucifer's Angel".**

**I hope you liked this chapter... And I must let you know you that the story is ending.**


	30. Epilogue

Chapter 30: Epilogue

Castiel got out of the hospital in the next day. As Sam and Dean had no place to stay, Gabriel and Castiel convinced Michael in letting them stay in their house.

In the next few days Jimmy didn't leave Balthazar's side, waiting for him to give any sign of consciousness. When he finally woke up, he was welcomed by Jimmy's relief and happy kiss.

* * *

A month later in Novak's house…

Castiel and Jimmy teamed up and gave Balthazar a tickles attack. Balthazar laughed and moved violently on the couch.

"Wait." He asked laughing and breathing heavily.

The twins didn't listen and continued.

"Cas." Sam called, entering in the living room.

The brothers looked at him. "I need you to see something." Sam said, not knowing which one of the twins was Castiel.

Unfortunately for him, the brothers knew that too. They changed a mischievous look, thinking the same. "First, you have to tell which one of us is Cas." One of them said.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Come on, guys..."

This was also a punishment; Sam should have been able to distinguish them.

"Choose." Jimmy and Castiel said at the same time.

"Balthazar, help…" Sam talked to Jimmy's boyfriend on the couch.

"Don't get me into this. I was almost having a ménage à trois before you interrupt…"

Balthazar was immediately punched by one of the twins. He let out an expression of pain and then he said: "That's Cas." He pointed the one who had just hit him.

"You're no fun." Jimmy told him as Castiel approached Sam.

"I don't care… You still love me." Balthazar said smirking.

Jimmy smiled. He sat on Balthazar's lap and kissed him. Like in any other kiss, Balthazar took advantage and prolonged the kiss as much as he could. He also added caresses that were interrupted by a scream, coming from upstairs.

It sounded like a fight. As the sound of the two voices came closer they were able to identify that it was Dean and Gabriel's voices.

"You know what, I'm leaving…" They heard Dean saying as he came downstairs.

Gabriel was right after him. "Yeah, you do that. I don't care." Gabriel sounded mad.

Dean opened the door. "I don't have to put up with a spoiled child..." He got out and closed the door violently.

"I hate you." Gabriel screamed, knowing Dean could still hear him. Then he went to his room.

Sam, Castiel, Jimmy and Balthazar had been static, assisting the frightening discussion. They looked at each other when it was over.

"Again?" Balthazar said. "This is what, the third time they break up… this week?"

"And today is only Wednesday..." Sam added.

"I bet they'll be together again before dinner." Jimmy commented.

"How is their relationship healthy?" Castiel said.

"They don't care if it's healthy… They just love make up sex." Jimmy told him.

Jimmy was right. At the sunset Gabriel went outside, he knew he would find Dean in the Impala. It didn't took long to car be shaking and the car's windows being fogged.

This was how they lived; happy. Dean got a work by fixing cars. Jimmy and Balthazar got in a police academy, later. Sam and Castiel kept studying; Sam took special interest in law.

Sam and Dean never thought they would have a stable and happy life, Balthazar never thought he'd be free and that he'd have a family again, Castiel never thought he'd see his twin again… Three regular families were visited by disasters and death, which tore them apart… but now they are together, bonded by love.

THE END

* * *

**I hope you liked the story...**

**I was wondering if you'd like me to write a sequel? I put a poll in my profile.**


End file.
